Spouses for Life - The Book

Last Updated March 12, 2004

Questions, comments or feedback? Send them to: spousesforlife@karenandmelody.com

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)

PERSONAL QUESTIONS

1. Why do you want to do this book?
We have always wanted to create a book that would showcase gay and lesbian couples in healthy, happy, stable relationships. With the recent event of same-sex marriages being brought to the forefront, we wanted to take the opportunity to document those gay couples who have taken a stand for the right for same-sex marriages.   We want to show middle America that gay and lesbian couples are just like everyone else. We are there friends, their neighbors, their co-workers. We are everywhere and we are just like them.

2. What are your views on same-sex marriage?
Karen - "Having been married to a man at one time, I am all for same-sex marriage.   Marriage is after all, just a word used to describe the love and commitment that two people feel towards each other. What is most important are the feelings the ceremony signifies not the gender of the two people. I believe that every couple, straight or gay, who are commited to each other should have the same rights and benefits. I want the opportunity to someday marry my partner and have that union recognized, the same way that my marriage to a man was recognized, by friends, family, society and the government."

Melody - "To me, 'marriage' was always a celebration of a 'straight' relationship. Being gay, I wanted something different to celebrate the union of a gay couple. I still want the same rights and benefits that straight, married couples receive. I would just prefer they use a different name for the same-sex ceremony. That way gay couples can still get the legal rights for marriage, but not have to contend with those that say 'marriage' should be defined between a man and a woman."

3. Are you planning to get married?
Currently we do not have plans on getting married. Our relationship is still in the early phases.   We do hope in the future to be able to celebrate our love with a marriage ceremony.

4. Do you personally know anyone who was legally married?
No. We do not personally know anyone who was legally married in San Francisco. However, we have gay friends that were scheduled to obtain their marriage license before they were halted by the California Supreme Court.

5. What is your experience in regards to publishing?
This book would be our first attempt into the gay/lesbian publishing business. However, we did research self-publishing when we wanted to publish a book of the amazing and touching poems submitted to us by GLBT youths for the KarMel Scholarship.

6. Do you have any other future projects in the works?
We are going to continue offering the KarMel Scholarship, a GLBT themed scholarship, which is in its second year. Depending on how well this book is received, we have ideas on future gay/lesbian relationship books. Sometime in the future, we have dreams of opening a gay art gallery, a gay movie theater, a lesbian friendly restaurant or a gay publishing company.

7. How do we contact you?
You can contact us by email, phone or mail.
Melody or Karen
Email: spousesforlife@karenandmelody.com
Phone: (408)926-6019
Mail:      KarMel Co.
              Attn: Karen and Melody
              PO BOX 70382
              Sunnyvale, CA 94086

ABOUT THE BOOK

1.   Why do you call it "Spouses for Life"?
"Spouses for Life" was the pronouncement used when the same-sex couples were married in San Francisco. Since the book is focusing on those couples married in San Francisco, we wanted a title that captured the emotions tied to those ceremonies.

2.   What will be the book's primary focus?
The book will focus on same-sex couples describing their relationships and their journey in obtaining their marriage licenses.

3.   Will the book feature ONLY couples who were legally married in San Francisco?
For now, the book will only focus on same-sex couples that were married in San Francisco between Feb 12 and March 11, 2004 because they were the first legally performed same-sex marriages in the United States. However, this may change as we continue to develop the book.

4. Why not feature more couples?
The idea is to feature one couple from each day that the same-sex marriages were performed. Also due to self-publishing costs, we are limited to a certain number of pages for the book.   If participation is high, we may consider publishing two volumes to showcase more gay couples.

5. How are you going about finding these couples?
We will be passing and posting flyers at various gay friendly locations/events to announce that we are looking for gay couples to participate in the book. Also we will be researching news articles and public marriage records for the names of the couples to contact. We will also be publicizing it to our friends, gay organizations, gay message boards, and gay magazines. Our website will also aid in the search.

6. How will you be publishing this book?
We will be self-publishing this book. [Self-publishing means we will be producing, packaging, marketing and selling the book on our own.]   Although we are open to book publishers buying the rights to publish the book if they are interested.

7. When will the book be published?
Our projected date to publish the book is the beginning of next year 2005. We hope to have the book available for next year's Freedom to Marry Day (Feb 12).

8. Will any profits go to charity?
Yes. We are not expecting to make a profit off of this book. However, if we do earn a profit, a percentage of the profits will go towards our GLBT themed scholarship (KarMel Scholarship).

INTERESTED IN PARTICIPATING

1.   My partner and I got married in San Francisco, and would like to participate in your book.
      How do we proceed?
Great! We are excited to hear that you are interested in participating! You can complete the form to contact us or call us (Karen and Melody) at (408)926-6019. We will then set up an interview time.

2.   We had an appointment to get our marriage license, which was cancelled.
      Can we still contact you to be part of the book?
Unfortunately, for this book, we are featuring couples who have completed the marriage process. But you can always contact us, if things change and you are able to complete the marriage process.

You can still participate in our online "Album of Gay Couples". This is separate listing from the book showcasing gay and lesbian couples. Just submit a photo of you and your partner, and tell us a little about your relationship. Send it to: gaycouples@karenandmelody.com

3.   We received our same-sex marriage license in some place other than San Francisco, can we
      still be included in the book?
Unfortunately, for this book, we are only featuring couples who were married in San Francisco because San Francisco was the first city in the United States to perform legal same-sex marriages.

You can still participate in our online "Album of Gay Couples". This is separate listing from the book showcasing gay and lesbian couples. Just submit a photo of you and your spouse, and tell us a little about your relationship. Send it to: gaycouples@karenandmelody.com

4.   Are you featuring couples who were married in San Francisco, but reside in another state?
Yes. We will be including gay couples who were married in San Francisco, but reside in another state.

5.   What will happen after we agree to participate in the book?
We will schedule a time to interview you and your spouse. After the interview process we will contact you with further updates.

6.   How will the couples be selected for the book?
We are looking for unique stories, couples and families.

7.   How will the interviews be conducted?
The interviews will either be conducted by phone or in person, after completing the Preliminary Questions Form.

8.   Do we both need to be present for the interview?
It is best if both spouses are present for the interview.   However, if schedule does not permit, we can interview each spouse individually.

9.    If we are selected as a featured couple, will we get to see what is written before it is
       published?
Yes, once the story has been written, we will submit the final work to you for your approval.

10. If we are selected to do a feature story, do we need to have our photos featured in the book as
       well?
Yes, you will need to have your photo taken or provided to us, as the goal of the book is to showcase the faces of the same-sex spouses.

11. If we are not one of the couples selected for the feature story, what will happen?
You will still be included in the book with your photo and names in a seperate section. Also there is a chance we may still use your story in a future book.

MISC

1. What is the section "Album of Gay Couples" about?
It's a showcase of gay and lesbian couples in loving and caring relationships.
Click this link to find out more.

2. I am interested in donating or helping you fund your book. What do I do?
You can contact us or mail your donations to:

Checks payable to: KarMel Co.
Address:   KarMel Co
                    Attn: Karen and melody
                    PO Box 70382
                    Sunnyvale, CA 94086

3. I am interested in lending my talents for your book. How can I help?
See the "Volunteers" section of our website for a list of positions.