KarMel
Scholarship 2007
|
“I Wish I Could Write a Song that gives
People Chills” By Julie
Kunz |
Desciption of Submission: Various short letters written to
important people in my life. It explains that I am still me even after coming
out as a bisexual woman in a homosexual relationship, and that I told them
people I love them.
I wish I could write a song
that gave people chills. I wish I could draw or paint a picture that visibly
moved strangers.
But alas, I approach life
without these visual gifts, but instead use my wisdom, wit, and plenty of
sarcasm.
So in attempts to create a
valuable piece, I wish to write a letter to you, about what it means to me.
Because maybe, it is what it means to be you, too, at least in a small way.
And if not, perhaps you
could learn a thing or two.
Dear mom,
I love you. I hope you know when I tell you
that your blonde afro went out of style in the 1970s; I make fun of you because
I care. Otherwise I would not have told you about the most important human
being to me, my girlfriend. And as a child, now a woman, raised
in a Catholic
But I did it.
Because I
love you.
Dear Dad,
Please don’t pull away.
Please continue that initial zeal you with which you approached my coming out.
You said you respected me and I will always be your child, even if I will never
again fit in your lap.
Please don’t lose hope,
please don’t get tired.
Because I
love you.
Dear beloved siblings (the
many there are of you),
Please remember I am me.
Remember making cookies, singing goofy songs, and clamoring around the house.
Remember that I am still your big sister and I will still kick the asses of any
of those who dare offend or hurt you. And I will be here to help with the emotional
and psychological wounds the world inflicts on you.
Because I
love you.
Dear glorious friends,
I am no one without your
laughter. I am no one without your support when I cry. I am no one without your
horrible influences encouraging bad partying habits or staying up late to watch
reality TV. It’s not that we are amazing people, we are an amazing group.
I told you all first. I
trusted you and knew you would be free from judgment. I knew you would be okay
with who I was and who I loved. I am so grateful for your influence. I am glad
I can be there for you too.
Because I
love you.
Dear infuriating and
influential society of mine,
Please remember I am me. I
pay my taxes, relatively on time. I have greatly decreased my public abuses of
the president, as the media has finally taken on more of that responsibility. I
never litter, I recycle, I print pages back to back, I
vote, I care.
Please don’t judge me on who
I love, who I date, who I fuck.
I fail to see the relation
between my sex life and my intelligent contribution to society.
Why do you suppose lesbians
flock to the L-word? Queers to Queer As Folk?
So we feel a part of something bigger than ourselves. So it can counter our
perception that we are alone, abnormal, abominations.
Remember, I have not yet
moved to
Because I
love you.
Dear my lover, my best
friend, my soul mate, my enemy at times,
Please remember I am me. I
am multi-faceted. I am amazing. I am evil.
You not only opened my
heart, but my life. Your presence in my life creates an amazing glow. I sit in
awe of you. You are so mellow, so calm. Your calm is the ying to my anxious
yang.
I look at you and see my
future. I see myself with you. I love being with you, near you, smelling you,
kissing you.
You have renewed strength in
me I never knew I had. We are taking the first steps towards being a couple out
in the world. We are standing up to those around us.
How amazing these past few
years have been.
I thank the world for you. I
also want to hold you in contempt at times for your insensitive behavior.
There is no one I would
rather fight with.
Because I am in love you.
And that, my darling, is the
difference between you and the world. The world has part of my heart, but you
have me.