KarMel
Scholarship 2007
|
“Letter to Ma” By Elizabeth Bond |
Desciption of Submission: A letter to my mom explaining my unique sexuality and
my distaste of the definition of what a woman is in today's society
Dear Ma,
We have had many
quarrels over this topic, and it tires me every day. I hope, that when
you have finished reading this letter, that you will understand on a deeper
level of who I am. I will tell you from
the start that you should not feel like a failure because of the way I turned
out. I am who I am, and every quirk and
flaw I have I see as a gift from God.
Who am I? A woman who loves
women, who expresses both masculine and feminine traits, who simply wishes to
be herself and not be confined by the definition of what it means to be a woman
in today’s society.
I’m not sure what
being a woman really means. I used to
think that it simply meant having the ability to give birth and nurse the
children. Why are we supposed to wear
makeup and dresses? Why are we supposed
to shake our hips when we walk, paint our fingernails, and stand up straight so
our breasts show?
This is what I
am: a woman who loves women for their
minds and bodies, who hates lace and dresses, who
always preferred to pay for the dinner date, no matter how poor I am. We have argued hundreds of times on me
wearing men’s button down shirts and slightly oversized T-shirts when I should
be wearing something found in the women’s clothing department. And you have nagged me even more on walking more
like a woman and doing something pretty with my hair. On one level, this is me simply not wanting
to complicate my life with curlers and matching shoes and fifty outfits from
The Gap, but we both know that there is something beyond me just acting a bit
like a man.
Don’t get me
wrong. I don’t want a penis. And I know that there are many successful
women out there who still express their femininity. I know that that is what you want me to
be. I suppose that I could do that, but
it wouldn’t be me. I do not display
masculine traits so that I can be as successful as a man. I act like a man because that is what feels
natural to me. Anything else would be a
lie.
And when it comes
to other women, you should know that I love them deeply. I think of my female friends who are in every
sense, a lady, and yet are ambitious and successful. I usually harbor a slight crush on them, not
just because they are physically beautiful, but also because their humor and
wisdom affects me deeply, beyond a simple platonic relationship. I see that every woman has this ability to be
such ladies that I have been blessed to know.
But despite being around such
ladies, I never had the drive to become one.
I understand that a woman is supposed to compliment a man. I find very few men that I want to
compliment, though. I have often wanted
to compliment another woman, though. I
want her to be comfortable to express herself without having to worry about
society’s petty definitions on what a woman is.
The world needs to go beyond such limitations by appreciating the
uniqueness of each woman. In 1995, Pope
John Paul II wrote in his letter to women: “Perhaps more than men, women
acknowledge the person, because they see persons with their hearts. They see
them independently of various ideological or political systems. They see others
in their greatness and limitations; they try to go out to them and help
them.” Perhaps I will never be able to
have the grace and courage that so many strong women posses, but I can love
them for it, and I hope that one day through that love I will help men realize
what gifts women are to the world.
I hope that none of
this make you upset. I understand that
many women would look at me and think that I am degrading womanhood by acting
like a man. I do no such thing. I am simply being me: woman, man, and always your daughter. I will not allow myself to be a woman who
stays at
Love,
Izzy