KarMel Scholarship 2007

 

 “Roots”

By Anonymous

 

 

Desciption of Submission: This is a personal story about how I came to terms with my homosexuality, and how my college experience will help preserve my identity.



          Ever since I was a boy, my parents and peers knew me as a pious entity.  My faith became steadfast through daily studies of Christian apologetics and nightly reverential prayers to God.  I believe God encouraged me not to conform to social norms and remain reserved.  I was happy pleasing Him.  My struggle started during adolescence, when I juggled between my sexual orientation and the Bible.  I knew about the sin of homosexuality and I refused to engage in any romance.

          While I took my first steps into Monroe High School, I felt nauseous enrolling as a sophomore who didn’t know anybody.  The faces that surrounded me looked unfamiliar: African-Americans, Mexicans, Filipinos, Thais, Arabs, Indians... barely any Caucasians anywhere.  I managed to make it to my homeroom class to find myself in a desk, one engraved with graffiti and gum stuck under its table.  Envisioning a dismal year ahead, I wanted to leave and never return.

          Since childhood, I have attended private schools where the population consisted entirely of Armenians and Christians.  I was taught to preserve my Armenian heritage and remained sheltered inside a world where only conventional values were accepted.  Society, not the individual, matters within this culture.  It isn’t uncommon to hear degrading remarks about other cultures and races, or anything that isn't Armenian.  Morality is clearly defined: respecting authority is right and anything untraditional is wrong.  My parents’ anticipated I marry an Orthodox Armenian woman, settling into affluence with a medical degree.  It isn't surprising that I grew up with a similar attitude, fatuously aiming to please my parents.  But by entering Monroe, I feared that my bubble couldn't sustain the constant barrage of challenges posed by my diverse classmates and their alternative viewpoints.

 

          Outside of my comfort zone, I didn't participate in my classes nor attempt to speak with anyone.  My teachers forced collaboration through mock trials and group projects, which compelled me to interact with my classmates.  Everyone appeared strange, especially the amiable Filipina who introduced herself to me.  She was so chatty and flamboyant, not quiet and reserved like my family expected women to be.  I felt ashamed being around her, particularly when my contemptuous father dubbed her as a "madwoman" for talking so much.  But spending time with her allowed me to look beyond the differences my father saw and find the common ground that existed between us.  She became someone who helped me bridge the chasm in my mind between how I was raised and the possibilities of life beyond that bubble.  Consequently, I grew more at ease with her, others, and eventually, myself.

 

          As I got to know my peers, I desired to learn about their cultures and beliefs.  I learned about ceremonies such as the Mexican rite-of-passage called Quincenera and the Muslim practice of Ramadan fasting.  Many shared the history of their own countries.  The rest of the world had its own story to tell and now I wanted to listen.  My family dismissed the significance of understanding different nationalities, but others' stories intrigued me.  I wanted to accept people from other cultures not Armenian, from other beliefs not Christian, from other lifestyles not traditional.  Questioning the parochial views I had been taught, I began considering a different dream for my future, where I followed my passions rather than the pursuit of wealth.  Gradually, I became friends with classmates who took pride in their differences, and I respected them for their confidence in themselves, recalling my otherness that still existed in me.  At the end of my junior year, I accepted my homosexual nature and felt empowered to share this knowledge with others.  Allowing me to break away from my parents’ wishes, school helped me uncover my unique character and feel comfortable with myself.  I realized the more I was learning about others, the more I deciphered about myself.  Discovering a part of me, I learned to further accept the differences in others- whether gay or Atheist, or any other choice a person would prefer.  I knew my family would have trouble accepting my true identity, but I yearned to cut the roots that my culture had entangled in my mind.  I am still cracking free from my shell of reticence, and I know my college route will better sprout the roots that define me.

 

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