KarMel Scholarship 2007

 

 “My Battle

By Anonymous

 

 

Desciption of Submission: Poem about my struggle with my bisexuality

 

 

 

Confused, torn, twisted

My emotions pulling me in directions

I never knew existed

Does my heart yearn for Jack

Or is it possible that it aches for both the same

 

My eyes wander up and down

The feminine and the male

My mind’s eye excites with visions

Too delectable to explain in detail

But wait! Stop! This can’t be right!

My brain shouts right out loud

Society says it’s a boy-girl thing

That’s the only way allowed

A girl-girl thing can never work

So you might as well settle down

With a man that will protect you

And will make your family proud

 

My body can’t help but reject this thinking

This forced way of being

Perhaps I should rebel

And make it only girls I’m seeing

In this way I find many friends

Women who support me without fail

Until I cannot suppress these feelings

Feelings I still have for the male

 

My friends say I’m a traitor

That I can’t make up my mind

They say I’m just selfish

That the best of both worlds are mine

All these swirling accusations

Cut me to the core

Until I don’t think I can take it anymore

I can’t turn to my family

Who knows what they would say

I couldn’t stand losing their love

So I play the straight in their way

 

I wish I could explain to them all

How I feel each day

It’s like a present I open

To find out what’s inside

Will it be a woman

Or will it be a guy

So this battle I will continue

Fight with it every day

Until I make my final choice

A partner either way

When I finally settle down

In peace I hope to be

With the person I know in my heart

Truly completes and belongs with me

 

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