KarMel
Scholarship 2007
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Honorable
Mention: Best
Sensual “The
Beginning” By Emily
Sander - CA |
Desciption of Submission: “A Personal narrative
detailing my coming out and first time.” - Emily
Why Karen and Melody Liked It: We loved the sensual
images in which Emily described in the narrative of her first time.
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It
all really started the summer after 9th grade. It was the last day
of school and all my friends and I went over to Adrienne’s house. Kayla,
Adie, Sami, Asha, and I were all sitting around in the grass looking at
yearbooks and reminiscing about the past year. It was warm and happy. I don’t
remember why I decided to tell them then and there, but I did. I somehow came
out and said hey guess what guys I think I’m bi! Well maybe not that excited,
but I didn’t think anything of it, they were all my friends and I felt safe.
Basically, their reaction was like, “Oh, that’s cool.” I might as well have
said I’m gonna dye my hair or something. Finally one asked why I thought so,
I answered that I had had a crush on Sami most of the year and it wasn’t
going away. Sami said, “I’m flattered but not interested.” I stammered and
said well of course you aren’t interested! That wasn’t the point; I had just
wanted to come out to you guys. Sami laughed and said well it can’t be out of
the closest if your bi…too small, how about the cupboard! From that day forth
I was known as out of the cupboard. That
summer I spent a lot of time with Sami. I went to 10th
grade. I don’t know when it started happening but I slowly started crushing
on Kayla. I didn’t tell her for a long time. Her father was very conservative
and I didn’t want to scare her. She was my best friend. We spent so much time
together. I’d sleep at her house, she at mine. We’d shower together, tickle
each other, and almost flirt really. I finally told her and she said cool,
thanks. I asked her if she knew if she was straight. She said she want sure
yet. I was cool with that. Over the next few months, we became closer and
closer. It stated to get really hard for me. Kayla got a boyfriend and I was
insanely jealous. When she kissed him, I wanted to be him. It was odd to me, but
since nothing would come of it, I fantasized about kissing her. I yearned and
yearned for her. It was worse than Sami. I wanted Kayla. She was so sexy. Her
body called to me and it made normal activities almost impossible. Around
March of that year, she spent the night at my house. No unordinary occurrence
really, just an overnight. We stayed up late talking as usual, my sister fell
asleep and the only light was the blue screen of the TV where from one of our
favorite CDs, Eisely, played. We started kissing. This had happened before,
but not like this. We both had boyfriends and sometimes we would show off
what we did to them to each other, swapping secrets if you will. We had been
flirting since fall and I was smitten. She wasn’t sure, but more open than I
thought. We’d kiss goodbye and sometimes for a thrill, at her dad’s house. It
was dangerous there. We would sleep cuddled up and sparsely clothed. Snuggled
up to one another like spoons or kittens. Her skin was so smooth and smelled
so good. I loved her skin. Every bit of it. Her hips made me ache worse than
anything. So
back to that March night. We started kissing heavy. Tongue and everything.
Passionately pressing against each other, we fought to one up the other. She
bit my neck, I bit her ear. She sucked on my lip; I sucked on her breast, the
first time. Her breasts were like a goddess’s, ivory, silky and so perfectly
shaped. I had admired them from afar before but now up close I was in heaven.
I bit lightly and ran my tongue over her nipple and I was very surprised when
she gave a small shudder and sound. I did it again, same reaction. I bit her
neck, louder sound this time, I kissed her, biting her lip hard, she
convulsed almost moaning. I was amazed. I never made noise at anything and
here she was reacting to my every touch.
She decided to get me back. Pushing her knee against my crotch she
kissed me violently, then purred in my ear while she
sucked on it. Then she kissed down my neck to my breast. She lightly ran her
tongue over my nipple and I squeaked. By this time I was covered in
goosebumps and shaking. It was too much to handle, I wanted her pussy. This
was the first time I had thought this, but I realized as she tormented me,
that I wanted her and I wanted her to have me. In order to one up me from the
boob sucking, she teasingly trailed her fingers down my stomach and to the
edge of my pussy. Then she attacked the inside of my thigh. Slowly she edged
closer to where I wanted her. Then as I held my breath, she lightly drew her
fingers across my slit, testing my clit, rubbing tentatively. I shook. She
smiled mischievously and put a finger inside of me, then another. Feeling her
way around she, at my urging, ended up with three of her slender fingers in
me and was fingering me mercilessly. I kinda came, reaching a peak of some
sort, and sighed. She smiled proudly and kissed me. I was out of breath and
out for revenge. She thought she was on her period and I guess figured that I
wouldn’t dare try what she had just done, but I did, fuck tampons. Who cares?
I got around that obstacle and as it turns out, she wasn’t even on her period
anymore. As my fingers slid inside of her, the noise she made equaled the
feeling in my head. The screaming desire to have her, to pleasure her. I decided
that just touching her, glorious as it was, wasn’t enough. I wanted to taste
her, to immerse myself in her. She had already come once, and I’m sure she
thought I’d stop, but I couldn’t. I removed my fingers and caressed the
inside of her thigh with my tongue. She moaned. The closer I got, the more
frantically she grabbed at me, my hair, shoulders, back. I finally touched my
tongue to her soft, warm, wet pussy. She twitched, I found her clit and with
every touch, she convulsed. I didn’t stop my ecstatic siege for about a half
an hour. She had come numerous times and was sweating and shaking. I was as
ecstatic as she was. If there had ever been a question in my mind on my love
of women, I was now as certain I was bi, as I was certain I was female. Our
late-night, blue-tinged, ecstasies complete, we fell into a blissful sleep,
wrapped in each other’s arms. Our first time, and my first time, burned into
my memory forever. Looking back at that night, it seems cinematic. Too
fantastic to have really happened, to pleasurable to have been real. But it
was. And the feelings from that night will haunt me for the rest of my life. |