KarMel
Scholarship 2007
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Honorable
Mention: “Best
BiSexual” “On
Making Metaphors” By Katherine
Gormley - ME |
Desciption of Submission: “A look into the complexities of explaining the term
“bi-sexual” to people unfamiliar with the concept” - Katherine
Why Karen and Melody Liked It: We loved how Katherine
was able to describe through simple metaphors what it feels like to be
bisexual.
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“Neurotic, ha!…..If neurotic is wanting two
mutually exclusive things at one and the same time, then I’m neurotic as
hell. I’ll be flying back and forth between one
mutually exclusive thing and another for the rest of my days.” -Sylvia Plath, The Bell
Jar It’s hard to construct a complete
metaphor about the utter neurosis that accompanies being bi, being between
the two extremes of love. It’s hard to
construct this because being bi isn’t about liking girls and guys, or liking
guys and girls (and yes, the order matters).
It isn’t about roses and poems and stereotypical wedding cakes. It isn’t even, sometimes, about having one
partner at a time. So, I will try to
construct a metaphor, but I make no promises.
I do hope you like fruit, though. Being bi is like trying to pick apples
at the supermarket. You have red ones,
and green ones, and they both give you nutrition, but have slightly different
tastes. You can have either, but
people are always asking you, “Don’t you like the ‘Old Delicious’ ones
better?” or “How about some green apples with caramel?’ They don’t understand when you just like
both of them, because, in their one-apple-world, there is no room for liking
the other kind equally. Surely no one
can be egalitarian in their decisions like that. No, that metaphor won’t work. How about this? Being bi is like looking at one finger
with your eyes, then shifting the focus of your gaze beyond the finger to the
outer world. The finger is still
there, but it’s like it’s invisible, transparent, it’s image shimmering on
the surface of the wider would. When I
see a person, I first, like almost everyone, see their gender. Are they a girl or a boy? Then, as I get to know them, and they come
into my radar as a possible candidate for a relationship, their gender
fades. I’ve looked past the
superficial elements of gender to see the person they are in the world. Their gender is still there, always there,
but loses its importance in light of the person they are. No, that’s a bit too complex and erudite
for me. Maybe… Being bi is like running between two
jobs, two schools, two activities, take your pick. You enjoy them both, you excel at both
equally but the world doesn’t want you to have enough time to enjoy
both. Pick one, they say. Just choose. There has to be one you like more,
right? The desperation as you try to
live in both activities grows as people pressure you to just choose one or
the other. They won’t care which one
you pick, they say, although you know that they want you on their
“side.” And eventually you fall down,
in the middle, exhausted from all this running hither and thither, knowing in
your heart that you could love both if only the world gave you more time,
more of a chance. No….. I guess being bi isn’t like anything, and
yet it’s like everything. See? You can have two mutually exclusive things
exist in one object. As I quoted
Sylvia Plath (Smith ’54), “I’ll be flying back and forth from one mutually
exclusive thing and another for the rest of my days. “ Do
I have to choose what apple I want?
No. I like crunchy Macintosh
red apples in the fall when we pick them off the trees, and I eat Granny
Smith Greens with caramel dripping off each side. Do I have to dash between two types of
love? Two types of relationships? No.
I can sit in the middle and enjoy my apples, in peace, rejoicing in my
infinite choice. |