KarMel Scholarship 2007

 

 “Confusion”

By Shawnda Coates

 

 

Desciption of Submission: Explorative Essay about interaction of spirituality and sexuality – restricted to one belief.

 

 

I have always believed that all humans are equal.  Unless they don't want to be.

 

I hear the fear and anger in the voices of those who don't understand, and are afraid of

understanding.

 

Then there are those who seem, to me, to be extremists on the other side.  The day I thought

 this scared me for a bit.  I sounded like the 'opponents'!

 

I feel that any person has the right to do, with their body and life, anything they want- as

 long as it doesn't hurt someone else.

 

But Spirituality finally, for me, conflicted with what I saw someone else do.

 

I was watching a movie documentary about a transgender and his friends (mostly transgenders

as well).  All well and good.  But the main person was in a heterosexual relationship with a

 transgender.  Again, no issue.

 

Except...wait... Please allow me to explain more.

 

The picture before me was a man, who was born female, dating a woman, who had been born

male.  They had done the surgery and were discussing the quality of surgery available to

them and other transgenders.  They met through their support group

(if I remember correctly).

 

Why did they change their genders?  A person has a number of reasons for this, and I accept

 that.  But this particular situation had my curiousity up.  See, my 'issue', as it is,

comes from my belief in reincarnation.  I could explain their desire to switch genders

because they had been comfortable as the opposite gender in the previous round.  But, if

the reader will allow, let me take this one more step (to further expose the issue).  This

couple may have been a couple before.  With gender roles as they have caused them to be now.

  Being born opposite of that which was, would reverse those roles and teach new lessons.

 

If the premise can be believed, that I have presented, then would their choice to revert to

 a previous condition affect their spirits progression through it's lessons?  Perhaps they

were supposed to be in the 'uncomfortable' opposite roles together!  They would be able to

support each other, through love, and learn to better relate to that which may have been

critized before.

 

But they have put themselves (continuing the premise) 'back into their old skins'.  They

will still experience new things, so lessons can still be learned.  But, are those lessons

being learned, or are they slowing their spiritual evolution?  Or...

 

I couldn't watch the rest of the documentary.  I have always been uncomfortable around those

 who choose to complain (which was going on and on about the surgeons and such) and choose

to remain in a spot because it's "comfy".

 

I can't say I am right.  I can't say I'm wrong.

 

I grew up knowing people of the "alternative lifestyles".  Nice term.  Like it's a choice

for these people?  But I've just raised that point myself!  Maybe it is???... Um, well now.

  Let's see...

 

I have found that I am bisexual.  I don't persue my own gender.  I considered what the two

genders offered- pro's and con's- and chose the one I was most willing to deal with.  As a

woman, I am what I call a Female Chavunist.  I know what my gender is capable of

('been there, done that' attitude) and judge other women against that.  Most fall very

short of their own abilities- with circumstances included.  With all my masculinity, I

figure I was a guy in a past life.  More than once.  I tend to defend men.  So, this is a

good oppurtunity for me to attempt to understand feminity better.

 

Why do I choose to not be with women?  I have more experience with men.  I feel women are

too easy to be with.  I take what I percieve is the harder route- even though, ironically,

it appears to be the easier route.  Just finding myself attracted to men does Not make them

 easier to understand or deal with!

 

But, returning to our ealier premise- perhaps I'm merely indulging myself by choosing to

stay with one gender soley?  Perhaps I'm slowing my growth?

 

The people who are afraid of what they don't understand keep ringing in our ears- as we

face our own confusion within ourselves.

 

At least that couple, and all others who face this 'confusion' of the Spirit, do so with

an open enough mind to face fears, hatred and anger (even inner anger), rather than to

resort to hiding from the possibilities of reality- both within and without.  They have

made A choice.

 

At least their life is embraced.

 

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