KarMel Scholarship 2006

 

Best Coming Out

“Who I Am” & “The Talk”

By  Caroline Kinsey - PA

 

 

Description of Submission: “The Talk – A girl’s talk with her mother as she tries to tell her she’s a lesbian.   Who I Am – A female coming out to her best friend, explaining that she’s not a stereotype.” - Caroline

 

 

Why Karen and Melody Liked It:  A very funny conversation of coming out to best friend and mom.

 

 

 

Who I Am

 

Today I’m going to tell you I’m gay.  That I’m into girls but don’t worry I’m not into you.  And I never have been.  You’ve been my best friend since we were little and I don’t plan on anything changing.  It’s not something you did.  In fact, this is the first decision I’ve made on my own and I’m proud of it.  I don’t crush on anyone with tits and two legs and I don’t plan to anytime soon.  I’m not going to be lurking around the showers in the girls locker rooms after we work out and I’m definitely not into voyerism.  And I’m not getting a crew cut, or shedding my designer shoes for a mullet and a pair of Timberlands.  And don’t worry I’m not into anything weird.  It doesn’t mean I’m joining a cult, buying strap-ons or anything like that.  And I’m definitely NOT into Paris Hilton or Pamela Anderson either.  I don’t want to spend every night at a gay bar and I don’t view every single lesbian on the face of the earth as one of my “people.”  I don’t have a girlfriend but I’m definitely ready to have one.  And no, she won’t necessarily be from the south with eighty tattoos and a leather vest.  Promise.  And being a lesbian doesn’t mean that I’m planning on sleeping with every lesbian I come in contact with.  And of course we can still hang out with the boys.  I don’t hate men and I’m definitely not a feminist.  I don’t believe guys are the epitome of all that is satanic and I’m not going to start a “I Hate the Penis” webring.  Or anything strange likes that.  I have yet to burn my first bra and I can swear I have no interest in burning yours or convincing you to stand outside hugging tress and throwing red paint on people wearing fur.  So what does this mean for us?  Nothing hopefully.  But it’s me.   It’s who I am and who I don’t plan to change.  And I just thought you’d want to know.  Ok, so what do we feel like doing?  Does the mall sound good?  I heard Sax was having a white sale.

 

 

The Talk

 

Mom, you know what?  I’m glad we’re having this talk.  There’s something I've gotta tell you and I’m not too sure what you’re going to say, but it’s important, and it can’t wait any longer.  Remember that girl that came over last week?   The one on the dance squad with me?  With the blonde hair, blue eyes and utterly amazing gorgeous perky tit – amazing titanium collections?  Those titanium’s are sure perky…Ok well there’s more to her than that.  Remember how much you said you liked her?  Right!  Good!  You should.  I like her very much too.  Because, you see – well…we’re together.  Ye, Mother, I know you’ve seen us together before and that’s not the together I’m talking about.  Ok.  Ok, so you know how you once said that you wanted to see me happy and that’s all that mattered?   Well I am.  With her.  No, Mother, I know that friends are supposed to make you happy and that you’re glad she makes me happy but you’re still not comprehending what I AM trying to say here.  Remember how I slept with her that weekend she came to visit and there was all that giggling going on in my bedroom?  Yes, Mother, I DO appreciate you claiming I’m a good friend by sharing my bed and telling knock-knock jokes, but that’s not----.  O. K.  ok.  You know last month, when Josh and I broke up…Remember?  You always wondered what happened and why I wasn’t brooding around the house like a ‘normal’ teenage girl..and then when you ran into him at the grocery store and asked him how he was doing what’d he tell you?  That’s right.  That he wasn’t worried about me being with another guy.  GROSS!  NO, Mother, we AREN’T getting back together.  PLEASE don’t claim that’s good news.  And NO, we aren’t secretly dating.  I couldn't handle that.  Why?  Great!  We’re getting somewhere!  Ok.  I couldn't handle that because I don’t like boys anymore.  At All.  NO Mother, I do NOT like old men!  Age has NOTHING to do with this!  What does it have to do with?  Finally!  I’m glad you asked that.  This whole thing…it has to do with ME>  And how I’m feeling.  MOTHER it’s NOT the flue –I feel fine.  I’m not sick.  And NO I don’t need you to call Dr. Silverman.  It’s not a cold and it’s not going away.  GOOD GOD, MOTHER NO I’m not dying!  No, it’s not TB.  It’s not TB, not mono, and DEFINITELY not malaria.  God Mother, Can’t you just give me a break?  No, Mother, I don’t want you to go away!  I don’t mean a break from talking; I mean a break, break.  Can’t you just listen?  No Mother, NOT to the Crickets outside, LISTEN to ME!  And I don’t wan to talk about the crickets, the Bennigan’s dog or Cousin Leah’s junior prom.   I don’t want to talk about Josh, Malaria, fevers or old men fetishes.  I just want to talk about ME>  And the person I am.  NO, Mother, I haven’t changed my name and I’m not out robbing banks.  I’m still me; sweet, smart, driven, law-school oriented me.  I’m just gay.  No MOTHER NOT HAPPY – What?  WHAT?  Don’t say I’m confusing you, if you only know how difficult you’re making thi—YOU’re right.  You’re right.  I did before say that I was happy before and I am happy, very happy actually, but not GAY meaning happy, MOTHER, Happy meaning happy.

 

Ok.  Okay, Mother.  You know what?  You know what would be great?  You.  Going into the kitchen and putting another pot of coffee on.  Something tells me it’s going to be a long night.

 

 

 

 

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