KarMel Scholarship 2005
|
Winner of the “Artistic” Category “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” By
Natalie Wyatt - FL |
Desciption of Submission: “I wrote this script for a class that I
participated in. It was called Darkness
Visible Radio Theatre and every week we had an hour long show. For four weeks this was my saga. It plays out about 45 mins when you hear it
on the air (and it was broadcast to most of central
Biography: Natalie will be a sophomore attending
Why Karen and Melody Liked
It: This was a very well
written fictional story about the “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell Policy”. It is very fitting for the current times. It was
a very touching ending, which even made Melody shed some tears.
Did you enjoy reading this story?
Then feel free to send a message to Natalie at: burn_and_dodge@yahoo.com
Download
PDF version of this story or read below.
DON’T ASK, DON’T TELL *PT 1*
(J’s Mix, Track 14, So Happy
Together, The Turtles, fade after 35 sec)
Jamie: I’m here to tell my story. Beginning to end, a young female going into the wild blue yonder.
I want to start off by saying that I’m not completely sure why I’m here
fighting this war. I mean, sure, the air force gave me the opportunity to get
out of the life I would have had otherwise, the one I was headed towards in
leaps and bounds, the dead end that I would have hit eventually. I guess that’s
a reason. The education, man, my G.I. bill hasn’t even kicked in yet, I’m only
18, and it feels like I’ll never get back to actually use it. There’s a hundred
bucks out of every paycheck I’ll never see again. I don’t know anymore, it’s
probably all for good reason. Maybe I’m just tired of trudging through the mud,
helping people who want nothing more than to kill me, working tedious 12 hour
shifts, and feeling like an enemy in my own camp. Maybe I just miss her.
Rich: Hey,
Lenox, looks like you got mail! Another letter from Nadine.
Jeez you guys write a lot! How do you find the time?
Jamie: I don’t know Jenkins, there’s not
much to do at night really. Figure the least I could do is keep my best friend
up to date on what all’s going on with us over here. What do you do when you
can’t sleep?
Rich: Damn,
Lenox! I can always sleep! And the few times when I can’t sleep, I play cards
with the boys. You should come over to the alpha sector one night; we have the
best barracks and the best Texas Hold ‘Em table in the whole
Jamie: I’m sure that’s not hard to do. All
the Iraqi’s are too busy resisting our “help” to really get a good table going.
Rich: Anyway,
Lenox, I only write my girlfriend once a week, and that’s if she’s lucky! We’ve
got an understanding though—she knows I love her and I talk about her all the
time and she knows what I’m going through over here. We’ll be together again
soon, I’m sure this stupid skirmish will end any day now. You have a boyfriend,
Lenox?
Jamie: Nah, I’ve
had a few but they’re just too much trouble.
Rich: What? I guess they can’t take a tough woman. (Meant
as a joke, laughs)
Jamie: (laughs) Nah,
I don’t think that’s it.
Rich: Well,
I’m sure if you grew out your hair you’d be a fox! Guys would be falling all
over themselves for you. There’d probably be fights, U.S against
Jamie: He’s not really my type and you
know damn right most of these military boys don’t want anything except to get
into someone’s pants.
Rich: Yeah,
you’re pretty right on the money there Lenox. If I were you, I’d just be gay! (Laughs)
I’m sure that’d go over well with Uncle Sam! Well, hey, I’ve got to report for
my shift, have fun writing your letters!
Jamie: He’s a good guy, Rich. Jenkins that is. He must know what’s going on, he just can’t
say anything about it and I sure as hell can’t say anything about it. It seems
like forever since I’ve gotten a letter from Nadine; it’s only been 2 days
though. I hope she’s gotten mine. The only thing about snail mail from here to
there and vice versa—takes too long, too choppy, too
much delay. About 2 weeks. Makes me miss the days when we’d pass each other in
the halls and swap notes one hand to another; at first notes about basketball
games, then about difficult decisions, then about love. I can remember how it
all started, one beautiful fall day we were walking home from a long day of
classes…
(J’s Mix, Track 1, Beautiful
Thing, Sister Hazel, 40 seconds)
Nadine: Hey Jamie, James Bond! I love the
new haircut! Makes you look so suave and daring! What a babe! (whistles) Mind if I escort you home?
Jamie:Well, I
guess I don’t think I mind too much.(bashful) Nah, stop it about the hair. (seriously) Nadine, my mom hates it. I think she might disown
me, she told me it says too much about what I am.
Nadine: What you are? But who you are is
more important, right?
Jamie: I guess not to her. She had a fit
Nadine, she’s started to tell the whole family about my ‘problem’ and they’re
all looking down on me like I’m a mutant or something.
Nadine: I like
you just the way you are sweetie. And do you know what?
Jamie: What?
Nadine: It doesn’t matter what they think
as long as you aren’t hurting anyone by it, as long as you’re happy with the
person you allow yourself to be and the person you allow yourself to love.
Jamie: You were always so good with advice
Nadine, so good with words. I’m going to miss you when I have to leave.
Nadine: You’re the one who has to head
into the military. And you just have
to graduate early to do it as soon as possible. I wish you would stay here but
I guess you have to do what you have to do and of course not I could stop you.
Jamie: Why do you say that?
Nadine: I’m just a friend, but I’m going
to support you—especially if you’re getting away from your family. (pause) I’m going to miss you more than
everyone else Jamie.
Jamie: Oh yeah?
Nadine: Of course. I mean, you must know
it already, I like you. As much negativity as our families put on our choices I
would love to be with you. I can see it in your green eyes Jamie—you want to be
with me too.
Jamie: Nadine, I… I… do want to be with
you. But I’m leaving so soon, how do we start something like this when we know it
will end?
Nadine: It doesn’t have to end. We’ll work
hard at us. We’ve been friends for a long time,
remember the conversations we’ve had? I know that we were hinting at us. I can
quote you perfectly, “The best relationships are the ones that are formed on a
solid base of friendship. As hard as it is to cross that line, it’s well worth
it because those relationships will outlast many others.” Remember? You said
that!
Jamie:Yes, I
remember. But what does that leave us with as options?
Nadine: We love, Jamie. We allow ourselves
to take this chance because of all the greatness that we know is possible
between the two of us.
Jamie: I’m really not sure Nadine.
Nadine: It is better to have loved and
lost than never to have loved at all. That’s what they say.
Jamie: “Nadine,” I said, looking for
words. And we had wandered into the park across the street from my house,
walking and talking together. The sky was beginning to dim and the wind rustled
through grass and past the swings. Her hair, long and dark, seemed wild, and I
realized what beauty was. Nadine was more wrought with passion than I had ever
seen anyone before, her heart was beautiful. She was looking at me but in an
odd way, looking away whenever I tried to look her in the eyes; she was scared.
I was too. When no words came I moved my hand toward her face, gently placing
it on the back of her neck and pulled her towards me. We kissed. And she walked
me to my doorstep.
Nadine: Goodnight Jamie.
Jamie: Goodnight
Nadine.
(Lead out with end of track
1 if possible?)
Jamie: That moment, that at once was so
clouded and unforeseen, will always be so clear in my mind. I wonder if she’s
thinking of me right now, thinking of the exact same moment. Maybe I’ll write
her and ask! What good that will do, but I guess if I write now and then shine
my boots I can fit in and go to the poker game with Jenkins tonight. I know,
I’ll be romantic, two envelopes. The outside one with her address…
(J’s Mix, Track 18, Good Morning Beautiful, Steve
Holy, 40 sec)
Nadine My Love,
Good
morning beautiful. I can’t stop thinking about you. I wish I were there right
now so that I could wake up next to you and make our coffee special how we like
it. You don’t need any sugar in yours right? Because your
lips are sweeter than the most saccharine of sugars. Oh man, I think
being away makes my game all that much better, right? Hopefully I’ll only be 3
more months over here. The longest months of my entire life are the ones
without you in my arms! This guy Rich told me to be gay today! HAHA! I mean,
c’mon, what was I supposed to say? “Sure buddy, you’re a little late on that
one! That there letter you’re holding is from my lesbian lover!” Oh my God,
that would be sooooo funny! I can see his mouth falling open and his words
getting all mumbled up. I should just tell them so they’d kick me out! But,
like I told you before, I’m in too deep, having taken the anti-homosexuality
classes and signed all sorts of papers, they’d dishonorably discharge me and
I’d never find work again. Damn baby, I wish I could brag about you as much as
you do me. It’s a blessing and I think you should be as open as possible, it’s
not worth it being any other way, take it from me. Well, I need to finish up
some chores and such, and then I’ve got a card game to catch so I’ll be looking
forward to opening your letter later on tonight and writing you again tomorrow.
Love you lots, miss you tons,
XOXOXOXO—Jamie
Jenkins: Hey Lenox, shine those boots
later! The game is starting now and you won’t be able to get in without me!
Carter: Hey sexy! Why don’t you put a
little effort into the look for me tonight? You could wear a skirt for once
and, hell, it even looks like your hair is starting to grow out! You’re on the
way to being one hot ticket around here!
Jenkins: Carter, lay off her!
Carter: (under
breath) I’d rather lay on her.
Jenkins: Oh let’s be mature here buddy.
She had a long shift today and I wouldn’t want to put a skirt on right now
either. You, on the other hand kiddo would * GAY VOICE* look so spectacularly
fantabulous in one of those itsy bitsy white skirts *END GAY VOICE*, (LAUGHS)
try not to get any mud on it, Carter, when you’re servicing your superiors!
Carter: That wasn’t funny; you could get
in serious trouble for that gay crap man. Besides, everyone ‘round here knows
I’m a ladies man, man’s man, man about base!
Lenox: You know what’s not funny Carter?
The comments you make under your breath. The funniest thing—the fact that
you’ll never get with me! Alright, let’s get over there before we miss
anything. I have to get in the zone so I can start beating you guys early.
Carter: Hey Jenkins, that’s what she
thinks. I’ll get with her, she’s my new project and she’ll be falling into my
arms by the end of the night! Just watch me!
Jenkins: Sure buddy.
Jamie: God, I hate these Air Force boys.
Not only are they stupid but they can’t seem to get enough from anyone! I’ll
just get to this poker party and play for a while, head back and try to get
some sleep before I have to stand on post tomorrow.
Carter: Hey boys! The party is here! We
can get this thing started! Throw me a beer Peterson!
( lead out with so
happy together [lead in, first song])
Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell *pt 2.*
(Franz Ferdinand, Take Me
Out, 35 sec)
Jamie: It was pretty nice of the boys to
invite me to this card game, I’m beating the socks off ‘em but that’s their own
fault! I feel awkward, though, just being here feels
like Carter expects something more from me. I’ll just get this little bit of
hob-knobbing out of the way and head to back to my barracks, it’s actually kind
of fun. But I think I’ve drank too much and Carter is really laying the charm
on thick. I’m getting nauseous but it’s not because of the alcohol; Carter’s
boastful, obnoxious repartee brings about such a tremendous gag reflex that I
can’t even find the words to explain it.
Carter: Hey guys, look at Lenox! Doesn’t
she keep the straightest poker face you’ve ever seen! This little lady is
kicking our asses boys, what’ll we do with her?
Jenkins: She’s winning fair and square, I guess we’ll surrender all of our belongings to
her eventually. Great skills lenox!
Peterson: Hell
yeah, I never knew you could play so well babe!
Carter: Yeah, I’m sure she has a lot of
skills we don’t know about yet! (laughs) Hey babe,
have another drink!
Guy: If
you’re old enough to die for your country then you’re old enough to have a few
drinks!
Jamie: I don’t think so guys, I’m pretty
sure I’m out of this game. Time to call it quits for the
night.
Jenkins: That’s probably a good idea, I’m
going to head back too boys. Thanks for the company, another game in a couple
of nights?
Peterson: You know it! Same time, same
place. Lenox, would you want to be our next addition to the table? Maybe we
could learn a thing or two from you!
Jamie: Sure thing. Anyways, I need to head
back to shine my boots and iron my uniform—reporting to post at 0600 you know.
Jenkins: See you guys later.
Guy: Catch
you later Jenkins!
Carter: Bye Rich! So, Lenox—0600 is nothing! Its
not even
Jamie: Friendly? Maybe a
little too friendly for me. No need be naïve and have you guys cheat a young, pretty soldier like me just to get my shirt
off.
Peterson: I don’t think it’s us as much as
it’s Carter.
Jamie: I know. Don’t want to put a damper
on things but I really do have to get going and head to bed.
Carter: Mind if I come with?
Jamie: To bed alone.
Carter: I was just offering to walk you
across base Lenox. Wow, do you really think I’m that much of a creep?
Peterson: He does have a point; you need
to walk with someone to your barracks at night.
Jamie: Ok, ok, I guess I could use a buddy
for the walk home. C’mon Carter, but no funny stuff!
Carter: Of course no funny stuff. You can
start heading in that direction, just let me grab a beer for the road. I’ll be
right there.
Jamie: “Sure,” I said. And now I’m walking
outside, in the pitch black of a quiet camp. In this corner of the base the
lights are dimmed enough for me to see the stars. Those always make me think of
Nadine because I know that they make her think of me in some offbeat romantic
way. I am always with her, the green star that will always walk with her.
Carter: Hey Peterson, thanks for the help
talking her into my walking her home. I owe you one, you’re a real buddy.
Peterson: No problem man, you better catch
up to her though; she’ll get away if you let her Carter.
Carter: Oh trust me. I won’t let this one
get away.
Jamie: Damn, Carter is taking forever and
I can’t seem to stop thinking about Nadine. I hope I can keep it all quiet.
Right now I remember the days before I came here, she was so afraid for me,
afraid of the bad things that she’d heard about. We were lying on my bed, her
head on my stomach, my fingers running through her hair…
(sister
hazel, best I’ll ever be, 40 sec)
Nadine: Jamie?
Jamie: Yes honey? Nadine, what are you
thinking about?
Nadine: Nothing.
Jamie: Liar! You know it’s our rule, if
you’re thinking about it then you have to tell me about it.
Nadine: Nu-uh! You’re going to have to
force it out of me!
Jamie: (Laughing) Oh yeah? You know when I
get through all my training and I’m finally a security forces member I’ll have
handcuffs. I won’t have this problem with you anymore, all I’ll have to do is
lock you up ‘til you break and spill your info.
Nadine: (Laughing) Well,
you don’t have that luxury right now, do you sweetie?
Jamie: No, I guess I don’t but I know you
won’t win A TICKLE FIGHT!
Nadine: (Laughing) OK, STOP! NO REALLY! I
fear that you’ve got me in a compromising position here. Pinned down and
tickled against my will! Rape! Stop! Rape!
Jamie: (Evil Giggle) Can’t
rape the willing.
Nadine: Very true.
Jamie: Very true indeed, now really,
Nadine, what are you thinking about?
Nadine: That stuff really goes on in the
military babe, especially to young pretty girls like you. I just want you to be
careful, ok?
Jamie: What do you mean? I’m sure
everything will be fine.
Nadine: Promise me that you’ll just listen
to me on this one. I’m not as scared of you fighting in the war as I am of you
being taken advantage of. What if they target you for who you are?
Jamie: Like, assault me because I won’t
give it up?
Nadine: Yes, exactly, even if they don’t
ask and you don’t tell… I mean, it’s a big problem in the military babe. Rape
is a big deal. And if you seem different from the other girls those dirty boys
might pick you out of the crowd. It would never be the victim’s fault, you
can’t change who you are, I’m just saying you’re more
outstanding above the rest.
Jamie: Don’t worry honey, I promise I’ll
be careful.
Nadine: And if anything ever does happen?
Jamie: I promise to take action against
them.
Nadine: And?
Jamie: I promise to tell you.
Nadine: Ok, now what were you saying about
handcuffs?
Jamie and Nadine: (laugh together)
(sister hazel, best I’ll ever be, 40 sec)
Jamie: There you are. Well, thanks for
finally choosing to join me Carter.
Carter: No problem babe, it’s my pleasure,
believe me.
Jamie: So when do you work next? You know we
officially switch to constant twelve hour shifts in a week or so, right?
Carter: I work again tomorrow at 0600 I
think. But right now is all that matters sweetheart.
Jamie: Right now all we’re doing is
talking about tomorrow. So right now tomorrow is all that really matters.
Carter: Behind that building is a
shortcut.
Jamie: No it’s not…<pause> What’s
going on?<pause> Don’t grab my arm like that! My heart is beating so fast, what’s happening to me?
(Random Songs, Track 5, Benny Benassi, Satisfaction,
2O sec, then play behind scene)
CARTER,
WHAT ARE YOU DOING? GET OFF ME!
Carter: C’mon Jamie, I know you want this
just as much as I do. Don’t keep lying to yourself, you’ve been asking for this
all along.
Jamie: No! <pause>Why is he calling me Jamie? Does he think
the use of my first name makes it romantic? Does he really think I want this?
Oh God, he’s got me pinned here against the wall…<pause> Get your hands off me!
Carter: I didn’t know you had such nice
assets under those baggy jeans Jamie. And those, well, let’s see if they’re
just as nice
Jamie: One
hand unzipping my pants, the other wandering underneath my blouse, why am I
letting him take this control over me?<pause> No Carter! I don’t want you touching me, why can’t you seem to
understand?
Carter: Oh Jamie, I always knew you
couldn’t resist me!
Jamie: Oh yes I can! I’m a trained soldier too!
Carter: Ugh, Oh (like he’s been kneed in
the groin)
Jamie: (panting)
just run, run back to your room and leave him behind! Keep running, you got
away, you’re safe. Why would he do that? I never thought it would go that far!
Never! Why did I let him do that?
(end music)
Jenkins: Hey,
Lenox, where are you headed so fast? Is everything ok?
Jamie: Yeah,
fine, everything is fine, goodnight. Don’t worry about me.
Jenkins: Are you
sure?
(DOOR SLAM)
Jamie: Fine?
No, everything isn’t fine! The whole scenario keeps playing over and over in my
head. How could I have let that happen? Is it really my fault? I wish I had
Nadine here. God, I remember the warning she gave me long ago, just a few weeks
before I left to go to basic training.
Jamie:I promise
to tell you…
Nadine
My Safety,
I’m
so scared right now. I need you to be right here with me, cleanse me of the
grime that I feel all over me. My skin is crawling. I promised to tell you if
anything ever went wrong over here. Don’t worry sweetie, I got away from him but
it could have turned out so badly. I went to that card game and as I was
walking home the guy that had offered to escort me across base pushed me
against a wall and started to undress me. It was so disgusting. You were right,
I think he knows I’m gay and I think I was a conquest. But I kicked him in the
nuts and ran, ran as fast as I could back here. I thought about you and what
you’d said. I’m going to report him in just a few minutes. I’m sure Jenkins
will walk me to main base security. I’m sure I can trust Jenkins. Nadine, I
miss you so much! It’s not right that I have to be secretive. Is it that bad
that I love you? I don’t seem to understand. What if I could be open about it?
Maybe that would keep it from being such a stigma, keep it from putting a bullseye
on my head. I’m glad we had that talk about rape before I left, though, because
if we hadn’t I’m sure I’d be driving myself crazy right now. You’re right, it
wasn’t my fault, but I feel so violated and weak. You should be here right now
damnit! I’ll be writing you more later as things
progress and process with this situation. I love you no matter what they say.
And I probably miss you too much!
Hugs
& Kisses,
Jamie
( Can’t
Help Falling in Love With You, Elvis, 40 sec.)
Don’t ask, don’t tell *PT 3*
(nelly
furtado, legend, 30 secs?)
Jamie: It was absolutely horrible, the
whole night replays over and over in my head every time I close my eyes. As if
sleep wasn’t hard enough to acquire without Nadine in my arms. Now I lay down
and I can feel Carter’s hands trespassing to nearly every part of my body, his
warm breath and serpent’s tongue creeping across my neck. He called out my name
like I belonged to him.
Carter: (REALLY SLEAZY) C’mon Jamie, I
know you want it just as much as I do.
Jamie: God, my skin is still burning every
place he put his body against mine. I wrote Nadine that night, a couple nights
ago, but last night I got to speak to her on the phone. It really helped me
through that situation, it seems that seriously
talking through that sort of thing is the only real way to fully cope:
(stand
by me, start from 12 sec? and go to 45 if you can?)
Nadine: Jamie, it’s so nice to hear your
voice, you have no idea! How did you swing this call? Never mind, that doesn’t
even matter. Honey, how are you over there? I miss you so much and love you
more and more each day we’re apart!
Jamie: Hey, ditto you! You know I can’t
really say too much but I bet I miss you more and all that other stuff too. I’m
not calling under the best circumstances though, it’s
just good to hear your voice too.
Nadine: Baby, what’s wrong? What is it?
Jamie: Well, remember me telling you about
that creep Carter that kept hitting on me?
Nadine: Yeah, I remember, I never liked
the sound of that guy. Baby, are you alright? Did he do anything to you? I
swear to god, I’ll…
Jamie: Hey, hey, don’t worry. I’m alright,
you know me, I’m too strong to get put anyplace I don’t like for too long.
Nadine: So, what happened then?
Jamie: Well, I wrote you a letter
explaining it all. So I’ll just give you the basic story now. Carter was
walking me across base after a card game and he got me up against a wall in a
dark corner. Nothing happened but some groping, but I knew he wanted more. I
got away and reported him right away—that was a few nights ago.
Nadine: Good. So, what’s happening with
that now?
Jamie: Well, first thing he did was start
a rumor that I was gay. But that has no bearing upon anything right now—he’s
done this before Nadine, and they’re really coming down hard and investigating
this one. My sergeant told me today that he will be kicked out.
Nadine: What happens if they go with the
gay thing? Is there any way they’d follow up on that? Because then you could
get in trouble.
Jamie: You know they can’t ask me, they
can’t open my letters, and right now they figure he’s just trying to slander my
name to get revenge for my turning him in.
Nadine: Sweetie, I’m proud of you for
being so brave. You know it’s not your fault, don’t you?
Jamie: Yeah, I know. I remembered everything
we’d talked about before I left home. Thank you so much for being there for me.
Nadine: I wish I were over there for you
right now. You sound like you could use a hug, and a kiss or two and some
cuddle action.
Jamie: I sure do. But right now I’d kill
for more time on the phone with you.
Nadine: Does that mean that you have to
go?
Jamie: Yep, sorry to have to cut it short,
you know I hate leaving you.
Nadine: I know, well damn, I don’t know
when I’ll get to talk to you again. Keep writing ok? I love you Jamie, be safe.
Jamie: And I you Nadine. I’ll be safe, you
be studious, ok? Later.
Nadine: Sure will, bye.
(lead out, stand by me)
Jamie: Now it’s time to sit out on post.
I’m starting to get a little bit scared though, usually it’s all quiet on the
front but lately there have been random religious extremists with amateur bombs
and such right outside of the camp. I’m sure it’ll be fine but I’m just jumpy
about those things. I always have bad premonitions about that stuff.
Jenkins: Hey, Lenox! You ready for another
interesting day at work?
Jamie: Ya, sure, I guess that you could
call it that. Or boring, or tedious, or uneventful, or ridiculous, or…
Jenkins: Ok, I think I get the point Lenox.
Whatever it is, let’s just get it over with.
Jamie: Sounds good to me.
Jenkins: I’m really sorry about what
happened with Carter, I would never have guessed Lenox, he seemed to be all
talk for the longest time. It just took someone like you to stand up to get him
caught tho.
Jamie: Don’t worry, I knew you weren’t a
part of that Rich, sorry, I mean Jenkins.
Jenkins: Nah, call me Rich, you see anyone
else around here? We’re good buddies Lenox, how bout I can call you Jamie?
Jamie: I don’t see anything wrong with
that.
Jenkins: So, how about we learn a little
more about each other, and not the way Carter would want to do it (laughs)
Jamie: Well, then, shoot—what do ya wanna
know?
Jenkins: Lemme see,
how are things back in the states? What about your family? Got any brothers or
sisters?
Jamie: I have two sisters, one younger and
one older. Ashley is the younger one, she’s in ROTC, making good grades, and
she’s got a real nice boyfriend. Stephanie is older and she’s doing well,
taking care of my favorite niece Kaylee while her husband is off training.
Jenkins: Sounds real nice, you’ve a whole
military family type setup, don’t you?
Jamie: Seems to have turned out that way.
What about you? Have anyone back in the states?
Jenkins: My parents are back there, just
going about their life. The only person that’s really outstanding, though, is
my girlfriend. She’s my prize waiting for my return.
Jamie: That sounds really nice, I wish I had someone waiting for me.
Jenkins:
It’s actually pretty hard. Ya see, I actually
have a girlfriend here in camp too. I’m not really sure what I’m doing, I just
get lonely over here sometimes I guess. Do you think that’s bad?
Jamie: As a girl, yes. As a soldier, I can
sort of understand
where you’re coming from. I think everyone can slip up sometimes.
Jenkins: But my Amanda back home, she’s a
real nice girl. She’s a looker, a great kisser, and I just wish I could commit.
If I could spend one night with her, I’d shake myself and fix the mess I’ve got
going on over here with this other girl.
Jamie: I’m sure you’ll figure something out
Rich. You’re a good guy and you know it, just let your conscience guide you.
You seem like you’ve got a good head on your shoulders, real understanding.
Jenkins: You know Jamie, (like you’re
trying to get at something in particular) I am a good guy and real trustworthy.
I feel like we could talk about anything you wanted.
Jamie: ( nervous)
Well, hey, I think that maybe it’s time to get some of our paperwork done, how
about you start on some of that and I’ll keep a look out?
Jenkins: Sounds good Jamie, just know I’m
here to talk anytime you need me.
Jamie: Thanks Jenkins.
Jenkins: (sighs)
No problem (pause) Lenox.
Jamie: I really wish I could open up more
to Rich. But it’s hard, he’ll start talking about
Amanda like she’s just an aside to the present. And it seems like all I can
think of for past, present, or future is Nadine. He thinks his girl is a
looker, a great kisser. Wonders what he’d do with just one more night with her.
But one night with Nadine… each night with her was the best it’s ever been…
just like the first night…
(live, when dolphins cry, 40
sec?)
Jamie: What are we going to do? I leave in
3 days. And then after basic training there is technical school, I won’t be
able to see you until mid January and then maybe again next fall.
Nadine: We don’t have to do anything you
don’t feel comfortable with; I would be content just to have you in my arms the
whole night long.
Jamie: I feel completely comfortable with
you. I mean, I trust you and I want you. What more do we need?
Nadine: Don’t act like this isn’t a big
step, we’ve only been dating for a few weeks now and God only knows when we’ll
see each other again. I don’t know that there is a right decision to make here.
Jamie: I don’t know that there is a wrong
decision either. I’ve known you for 4 years, we care for each other.
Nadine: I just don’t know.
Jamie: I did. I reached over and turned
out the light, we had been talking for over an hour but we each wanted the same
thing. There was a silence before we found each other in the darkness.
Nadine: Jamie…
Jamie: “I’m right here, I’m right here,” I
whispered into her ear. She was shaking, or maybe I was, it could have been
both of us, I’m not sure. Her heart beat so fast that I could feel it in every
inch of her body. It was the scariest moment of my life.
Nadine: Jamie, are you ok?
Jamie: “It’s ok
baby, I’m alright,” and I looked into her eyes, too afraid to tell her that I
loved her. But I knew it. I held her hand and ran my fingers across her stomach
and around her waist to pull her close to me. I kissed her like I’d never see
her again, just like in all the movies. We moved slowly, undressing each other
as if it were the most delicate of art forms.
Nadine: It’s just you and I, there is
nothing between us, are you sure you’re ok?
Jamie: “Ya, well I’m sure we’ll figure out
something to do Sweetie,” I told her, and she giggled, the tension was
instantly gone. The thing was she kept laughing.(giggling)-It kinda pissed me
off at the time but now I look back and remember how cute she looked with that
smile of hers lighting up the room. The way she looked up at me as we moved
together and how she said:
Nadine: I do love you.
Jamie: Just as simple as that, she moved
her lips right next to my ear and whispered to me in the heat of passion, “I do
love you.” It takes over my dreams, my daydreams, every thought, every memory of her. That little moment, that little
sentence, our great love resonates throughout my entire life. Damn, I do love
her. She means more to me than I could ever explain. I want that for the rest
of my life, I can say that with all of my heart.
Jenkins: Hey, Lenox, you watching out or
daydreaming about me?
Jamie: Ha! You wish. Alright, alright, you
wanna switch? I’ll do some paperwork, I’ve got a
letter to write anyway.
Jenkins: Damn, you and your letters Lenox.
Ok then, let’s go ahead and switch already.
Jamie: Thanks a ton buddy.
(Postal service, such great heights, 14 sec-42 sec)
Jamie:
Nadine my Life,
I
miss you, I miss you every second of everyday. I can
remember exactly the way your body felt against mine and how your hand fits
mine so perfectly. It gives me more happiness than I could convey to you in the
rest of my lifetime. So I want to try. Can I give you the rest of my life? Can
you give me yours? I know we can’t do anything legal but I’m sure things will
change eventually. Nadine, you are everything to me, you are my world, I do love you. Would you be my wife?
Love you with all of my life,
Hugs
and Kisses, Jamie
(lead out with postal
service)
Don’t ask, don’t tell *pt 4* (live show!)
Natalie : This is the fourth and final installment
of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell. The story of Jamie Lenox, a very young airman in the
air force, and her girlfriend Nadine has thus far explored the reality of rape
in the military, the loving relationship between two women, and the very real
scenario of the military policy, “don’t ask, don’t tell.” A
silent revolution. That’s what this is intended to be—the outpouring of
a silent revolution into the mainstream. So, decide for yourself whether or not
the soldier that could be dying for you right now should have the right to love
whomever they want and ask yourself if they should have to hide that.
Jamie: Hey Jenkins, any mail come today?
Jenkins: I can’t say that I’ve seen any
come through for you today, waiting for your buddy Nadine to write you back?
Jamie: I wrote her about some important
stuff a couple weeks ago and there should be a letter coming back to me soon.
Jenkins: Oh, is it about the incident with
Carter? Man, I really thought they’d give you more leeway on communication time
with the states. Probably only had enough time to call your parents, didn’t ya?
Jamie: “Sure did,” I told him, even though
I had really spoken to Nadine. Her letter is more important than anything
happening over here. At least it is right now, to me.
Jenkins: If you get anything I’ll let you
know though, those guys at the post office are so used to me asking for your
mail that they just stick it with mine automatically.
Jamie: Thanks, you’re the best mail boy a
girl could have!
Jenkins: Call me mail boy again and your
mail ain’t gonna come to you again.
Jamie: Nothing but love Jenkins, you know
that!
Sergeant: Hey you two! Stop screwing
around and get out to the 13th perimeter post, there have been a few
small disturbances in the last couple of days.
Jenkins: What kind of disturbances Sarge?
Sergeant: Just some threats about planned
bombings and those shady extremists lurking around a bit. I don’t think it’s
anything to really be worried about, but we need you guys out there a couple
hours early just to be safe.
Jamie: Sure Sarge, c’mon Jenkins let’s
head to the armory.
Jenkins: Alright, we’re on that.
Sergeant: Just hydrate and press on
troops!
Jamie: Yes sir.
Jenkins: Damnit, Lenox, we always end up
being the work horses of our flight, why is that?
Jamie: Because we’re the best and we know
our core values better than the rest of those asses on flight. (CORE VALUES)
Jenkins: I guess you’re right, so what are
your plans for the future? You think you’ll stay in and move up or get out
after your time is up?
Jamie: I’m outta here as soon as possible.
Jenkins: But I hear the benefits are great
after 20 years, you’re whole family will get ‘em.
Jamie: Nah, I don’t think that’s for me.
Hey, let’s keep a close eye out tonight, ok?
Jenkins: (sigh)
sure Lenox.
Jamie: Jenkins doesn’t know. My family
would never be a family in the eyes of the military. It’s not worth all of this
sneaking around. Nadine will still have to have her own benefits. I really need
to know what Nadine wants to do. Does she want to share her life with me? Sure
she does, I know she does. How will she answer me?
Nadine: Jamie, I love you with all of my
heart! I can’t wait to be with you for the rest of forever!
Jamie: Ya that would be nice. She could
say…
Nadine: I’ve only been waiting for the
chance to give the world to you. One lifetime could never be enough to show you
how much I care but I’m ready to try.
Jamie: Oh I can’t wait to get her reply; I
know it’s going to be amazing. If past experience proves itself to be true then
I know my proposal came to her with the greatest excitement and acceptance. I
can remember spending our last Christmas break together, I mean she practically
proposed to me, I just didn’t see it then…
Nadine: Sweetie, I never want to leave you
alone again. I don’t want to go back to school, especially with you going God
only knows where anytime now.
Jamie: It’ll be ok, we’ll be fine across
distance because we’ve been doing it for a while now, it’ll
just be another continent.
Nadine: Ya, with people who want to kill
you.
Jamie: Don’t you trust me? I’ve been well
trained honey, there’s no way I could get hurt, I hate the thought! The thought
of never seeing you again will keep me safe. I know it.
Nadine: I have an extra Christmas present
for you.
Jamie: But we’ve already exchanged gifts.
What is it? (Giggles)You’re sneaky!
Nadine: “Just something small,”
Jamie: she said as she pulled out a square
unwrapped jewelry box and put it behind her back. “Lemme see! Lemme see! Tease!”
Nadine: “Hmmm, maybe if you give me a
kiss,”
Jamie: “You twisted my arm, but ok,” and I
pulled her closer to me, standing in the middle of my room, to kiss her just
so. She didn’t say a word, just handed me the box to open. I sat down on my bed
and the small velvety box popped open to reveal a white gold ring, just my
size, with a tanzanite stone surrounded by diamond chips.
Nadine:
“And I don’t want to fall to pieces I just want to sit and stare at you, I
don’t want to talk about it, and I don’t want a conversation, I just want to
cry in front of you. I don’t want to talk about it cuz I’m in love with you.
I’m in love with you. I’m in love with you.”
Jamie: I hadn’t even realized that the radio
was playing one of our songs until she sang softly to me. A tear, I suspect
mostly of joy, partly of her sweet sorrow, rolled down her cheek and she looked
to me with the most unsure eyes I’d ever seen.
Nadine: This is a promise ring. Only a promise
ring until a greater promise can be made.
Jamie: Sweetie, I love you so much.
Nadine: I love you too.
Jamie: She said,
as we lay down to fall asleep together. The most beautifully
quiet and serene moment of my life.
Jenkins: Lenox! LOOK OUT!
Jamie: I’m immediately jolted out of my
daydream and into the present by a booming scream. And this is the part where
it all moves in slow motion. My body only reacted as much as it could have in
those short moments. As much as my training could ever have
taught me. I saw the speeding car coming towards our gate. I saw the
amount of explosives rigged in the back seat.
Jenkins: “Jamie! What are you doing?!” and
that was the last thing I said to her. She didn’t hesitate for even a second.
She leapt into the driver’s window and took control of the car. Realizing that
she probably only had a few seconds to do whatever it was that she had to do
she spun the wheel around and headed back out. The car had sped into the camp
about 100 yards or so towards the middle by the time she had control, obviously
headed towards our center of communications. But she had gone back out through
the broken gate at top speed, screaming to me:
Jamie: GET DOWN!
Jenkins: I watched the car in disbelief of
what had just happened and suddenly I was forced to the ground by an earth
shattering explosion. Jamie had known all along that she could not disarm
whatever had been rigged; she knew she had to get it away from our camp. I ran
to the scene, hoping that she was ok.
“Jamie!
Lenox! Hey, where are you? Are you ok?” I screamed overtop the horrendous
scene. I had just hoped that the carnage I saw was that of an extremist’s body
rather than my best friend’s.
Jamie: “Rich”
Jenkins: I heard her call my name.
Jamie: “Rich”
Jenkins: I heard it again, and I went to
her side. She was breathing heavily and I could not find the wound. Doctors say
it was a combination of a severe open wound in her abdominal area and the force
the explosion had on her body as it drove her to the ground. She looked up at
me.
Jamie: “It’s so quiet. Nadine, Sweetie, I
love you.”
Jenkins: She said with her last breath.
And her body felt limp within my arms. The rest of them did not come; if their
plan had been followed through they would have knocked out our communications
and attacked merely for recognition of their political statement and belief
that they were fighting for their god. I stand here in front of you today to
help be a part of Jamie’s story. Jamie Lenox was the best soldier I’ll ever
know. She fell in action, giving her life for the fellow troops that would
never treat her as equal. She served her country well. A woman to be proud of,
Jamie Lenox will be remembered. Pastor…
Pastor: May Airman Lenox rest in peace
here in her hometown, surrounded and remembered by the ones that love her. You
may now give your last respects.
Jenkins: “Thank you so much for coming,” I
said to those that came up to speak to me.
Pastor: No son, thank you for coming to
help out with the funeral. I know Jamie would have really liked your speech.
Jenkins: I felt her story should be retold
to those closest to her sir. (Pause) Thank you so much for coming.
Nadine: I appreciate your coming here.
Jenkins: Are you…?
Nadine: I’m Nadine.
Jenkins: So nice to meet you, sorry it has
to be under such circumstances.
Nadine: It was nice to hear from you, all
I got from the military were my letters returned to sender.
Jenkins: So you were…?
Nadine: I was to be her wife.
Jenkins: It’s just not right, what you two
had to go through.
Nadine: No, no one should ever have to
hide something so beautiful.
Jenkins: I knew, but she wouldn’t tell me.
Nadine: She couldn’t tell you. Did you
ever ask her?
Jenkins: Couldn’t.
Nadine: We can only look to the future for
someone to stand up and change that.
Jenkins: Let’s hope that future comes
soon.
Nadine: Of all the others out there, there
must be someone who can fight to make things right.
Jenkins: Yes ma’am.
Nadine: It was nice to meet you Rich.
Jenkins: “Goodbye Mrs. Lenox,”
and she quietly walked to the flag-draped casket to place a lily across the
stripes.
(MUSIC—ALISON KRAUS, BABY MINE)
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Did you enjoy reading this story?
Then feel free to send a message to Natalie at: burn_and_dodge@yahoo.com