KarMel Scholarship 2005

 

 “Labeled ‘different’”

By Troy Barile

 

 

Desciption of Submission: “An editorial piece I composed in response

to contemporary issues with labels and homosexuality around the globe.” - Troy

 

 

                        I myself am not too fond of labels, I believe you should be who you are and express yourself that way, and that way alone. I mean who needs labels?, I could see food and clothing, but these are inanimate objects, we are humans, living breathing things, we should not be labeled. Walking through the hallways, what do you here? What do you see? People in their little cliques, their little fashion cliques, yelling at one another for being different. Do you ever see two people labeled “thugs” fighting, or two people labeled “Goths” fighting; No! do you ever hear two people in the same clique calling each other names, yelling at one another, picking on and bullying one another, again, NO! ( and if you do it is very unlikely and uncommon). Label, the five letter word that makes the world go-round, that makes hate continue to exist, man vs. man, that makes peace a word foreign to any language.

                        Okay so now that I explained the hatred I have toward labels, I will dig a little deeper to the reason pertaining as to why I loathe them so much. Unacceptable to society, a disgrace in the eyes of millions of Americans, an altogether idiotic view that has nothing to do with the people who see it as a nuisance. Homosexuality, the word of the year, today’s new “problem” that many people seem to get themselves entangled in when it is none of their business, just being played out so much in the media lately that it just makes me sick. Homosexuals are humans just like straight people or whatever else you can label someone. I smell the same things you smell, I see the same things you see, I experience pain and hurt the same way you do, Why is it such a hard concept to grasp that I AM HUMAN, JUST LIKE YOU AND EVERYONE ELSE.

                        I bet that no two people today can say that they all like the same things, that they all are attracted to the same kind of person, that they all think the same. But the one thing I bet they can all agree on is that you do not like the feeling of being hurt or put down or shunned by society because you are different. I feel like a monster, like an alien, when that straight man gets on the screen of the television and begins to voice his opinion on gay marriage, gay rights, or gay anything. What does he know about us, about me? Why does his opinion count toward the way I would like to live my life? Why does he get to choose what I should like and dislike and will do with the rest of my life? Who I will love? Is this not America?, the home of the FREE? The home of the brave? To be free is to do what you please when you please, well that is as long as you do not break the law, and to my knowledge there is no law stating that gay’s have different rights than Straight people. The Brave? The Brave? To be brave is to have courage, to take on things that are deemed to be dangerous. If this were the home of the brave thousands and thousands of gays out there wouldn’t have to stay in the closet their whole lives, they would be proud of who they are. And I am here to break that, I am here to show the world that I am not afraid, that I am proud of who I am; who I have become, and would never wish to be any different. See because in the beginning, back in January, I really grasped the concept of Oh! I am a homosexual. I knew I liked people of the same sex, but it just didn’t click, until the media began to take charge; This is when I began to get pissed!

                        Within the last few months, there have been many many measures being taken to stop gays from ever getting married. So here, again, I will voice MY opinion, the voice of the gay male, on the subject matter of Same-sex marriage. A relationship, the last time I checked, was a bonding between two people, who feel things for one another, who basically are in love. Marriage, the furthering of a relationship to the point in which you want to spend the rest of your life with a person, true love, friendship, an intimate or close union. Where does it state that marriage is between a man and a women? A marriage, again, is between two people who love each other, whether man and women, man and man, or woman and woman, all in all the same.

                        Do you know what really gets to me when it comes to the topic of same-sex marriage? Those damn Conservatives ( although not all), what do they know? So ignorant, only believe what they believe is true, and what they say is always right. Yeah okay?!?, what do they know about being gay? Nothing! That’s all they have to say are those snippy comments in which they have no clue as to what they are talking about. Take President Bush for example, I myself am no Bush basher but I must say one thing, who does he think he is? Trying to add an amendment to the constitution practically banning same-sex marriage; is this man crazy? Does he want to ruin his chance of ever becoming president again? Wow, first of all this man is a lunatic, and second he needs to know and experience what it is like to be a homosexual before he can do such a thing… ban someone from marrying someone they love, that is all it is; Does this man have a heart? “ it is not right for the government to prevent gay people from sharing the rights and responsibilities of marriage.“ And may I say one more thing to those people out there who believe that Homosexual marriages will lessen the value of what marriage really stands for: Giving homosexuals an equal right to affirm their commitment doesn’t reduce the incentive for heterosexuals to do the same. What we are asking for is simply our equal right to marry the one we love and care for, just as non-gay Americans do, is that such a big thing to ask for?

                        Ahhh! Okay now that I vented on that topic I shall move on to my next favorite, gay couples being able to adopt and raise children. We live in a society which pressures heterosexuals to raise children and pressures lesbians and gay men not to raise children. The desire to become a parent, however, recognizes no distinctions based on sexual orientation. If we could just remove all of the effects of all that pressure, we would undoubtedly find that heterosexuals want children a good deal less of the time than they have them, and that lesbians and gay men want them more. In my opinion, children of gays and lesbians are the considered to be the most planned-for children on earth. Reason being, we can’t have children, we have to have someone else have the children for us; why would one go through such a hard process to get a child simply to love, and feel full, to just not love them. It just makes me upset that people in our society, our supposed brothers and sisters, basically want us ( gays), their equal; to have nothing, to live in utmost depression, to be outcast in a society which was built on freedom of expression, freedom to be who you want to be, ( freedom of religion - but I won’t go there right now, ill save that horrid topic for later in my paper). Looking around, and reading a little I found a very inconsiderate quote that I very much disagree with that I would like to share with you: “ Children need same-sex and an opposite-sex parent to have the best chance to develop healthy sexual identities and that Children in homosexual households are four times as likely to identify with homosexuality.” Comments such as this aggravate me to the point in which, this may sound a little odd but, I just want to become President or someone of high ranking in the country and voice my opinion to the American public, and guide them through example that these accusations are 110 percent false! One day… One day… I will voice my opinion on this… Reaching at least one person is my goal.

                        Next, I would like to convey how I feel on the topic of Gays serving in the military. I am so astonished to see how people can get upset over nothing. Lifting the ban on gays in the military isn’t exactly nothing, but its pretty damn close. I would also like to explain something that was quite a surprise, actually shocking, to me after doing a little research; While our economy is continuously going down the drain, the military has wasted over a half-billion dollars over the past decade chasing down gays and basically running them out of the armed forces. What is this? Ultimately running needed soldiers out of the military when we are in dire need of them, and they are people who are willing to fight for their country, plus on top of it all we are spending needed money on letting this absurd action continue. I never want to hear that we are in any sort of debt or in need of money or whatever, I will just laugh and continue on as if I never heard it. How can we do this to our country, so contradictive… everything this country stands for is so contradictive. “ The armed forces will be stronger the more they reflect the values and ideals of the society they serve,” which in my eyes is one hundred percent accurate.

                        Moving on to my least favorite topic pertaining to gays; an assumption which is untrue - Gays do not have a better chance of retracting AIDS and other STDs than any other person! This is one of the most rude and incorrect of the collection of old wives tales, and I take much offense toward those who deem this to be true. Nothing you say can change my standpoint on this topic. I also have zero respect for the people out there who will fight to the grave to say that all homosexuals are the same, that all homosexuals have aids, that all homosexuals are pedophiles, GET OVER IT!, do not judge me for the actions of others, we may be all in all the same, but I am also my own person, with my own morals and beliefs. ( writing this paper is actually beginning really both make me very angry and very happy all that same time… the story of my life - mixed emotions).

                        Now I would like to switch gears a little and explain to you something that has for so long bothered me. Is homosexuality Innate or Acquired? In psychological terms is it Nature or nature that makes you this way? On my first attempt to answer this question I came to the conclusion that you are born this way, which I still believe, but ever since I came to terms as to the fact that I am myself a Homosexual I have added my own knowledge, experience, and conclusion toward this ever-so important answer. I, again, being a homosexual myself know that you are born this way, and no matter who else or what any research shows or tells me, I will stick to this fact. Ever since I can remember I have had an attraction to those of the same gender as I, I didn’t just one day wake and say, “ Oh I’m a homosexual” or “ Oh! Wow I would like to try and be a homosexual, it looks like fun,” No! Do you think I picked to be this way? Not at all! Although now that I realize it, I like being this way, and would never want to any different than what I am today. Because I am Troy Barile, I am who I am, I like who I am, what I turned out to be, fact being that I am unique. I guess as the old cliché goes, “ everyone is different in their own way,” well at least I like the reason I am different! Go me! Okay so back on topic… Gay by nature not by nurture, no one made me this way. I didn’t choose to be gay, I was chosen! ( Sorry had to add a little humor in here, to at least boost my own morale.)

                        Religion, is a personal set or institutionalized system of religious attitudes, beliefs, and practices. To sum it all up, it’s a bunch of crap, a bunch of opinions about something that is un-provable and well just, annoying. Let me start out with saying that I hate when people talk about such things as death as if they experienced it, how do you know what happens when you die? You don’t… until well… you die. Yet I am not stating that I disagree with all aspects of well the “religious system“. I myself am not religious, but have my own set of beliefs. I do believe in God, but this is simply an opinion, solely a choice I made alone. I cannot say God is real and will not say God is real, but I feel hey! What can it hurt to believe in something that someday may benefit me, but if not oh well, not a huge waste of my time. Well getting back on track… I would like to now move on to what gays and lesbians really want in life, yet still keeping on the topic of religion. What we, Gays, really want is for our rights as citizens to be recognized as readily as our responsibilities as taxpayers; we want an end to the systematic discrimination against us on the basis of prejudice whether grounded in religion or other opinion. Our “opponents” believe that we are not fully human and deserve to remain disfranchised and subject to intimidation and violence. They do not believe, again, that the Constitution protects anything that goes against their own selective views of what their religions tell them. Can we say selfish? We are not asking for special rights or special treatment, we just want the same treatment as every other person. Our “differences” do not disqualify us from the exercise of our rights as citizens.

                        I bet not one of you out there can give me a legible excuse or reasoning as to why gays should not have the same exact rights as non-gays and do you know why you can not? Because no such excuse exists nor will ever exist. Get over it! You are just mad because being gay is the way to be these days, so leave your rude gestures in your head… we are the same… PERIOD!

                        It would be so nice if our families, friends, neighbors, leaders, and other people in the community could just get over the prejudices about us. It is just so very difficult at times to see what in the lives we lead should be a source of interest to so many people. It would be possible to make a list of things that we all might like, but there is little consensus among gays and lesbians beyond the basics of equal protection and individual freedom. One thing that we agree on is that we want to be left alone, to be free from the constant pressures and prejudices that assail us whether we are out of the closet or not. “In the end acceptance does not matter- acceptance not of the way other people live their lives, but of their right to live them.”

                        If everyone just left everyone alone, not even just gays, and let everyone do their own thing, the world would be a more peaceful place to live. I mean labels, who needs them? Let me be, let me marry who I want, date who I want, fight for my own country, let me have my own children to love, let me live a normal life just like you, but please let me live it my way and without the media down my throat every five minutes. “ We are determined to secure our civil freedom so that our lives can be as good and safe and decent as anybody else’s.” Again, we are not asking for special rights or special treatment, just the same as you and everyone else.

**Source for quotations: Gay rights ( Ocean County College Library, a current controversies book.)

 

 

 

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