KarMel Scholarship 2005

Runner Up – Written Category

“Gray in Between”

By Steven Cardwell - WA

Desciption of Submission: “This was an article I tried to publish in my school’s Newspaper that brings up the issues homosexuals face in society as well as in highschool.” - Steven

Biography: Steven will be attending New York University as a freshman. He is looking to major in communications.

Why Karen and Melody Liked It: We loved how it was a rant about all the different gay topics. It was very personal and told it like it is.

Did you enjoy reading this article?  Then feel free to send a message to Steven at: sjc344@nyu.edu

First they came for the Jews
and I did not speak out because I was not a Jew.
Then they came for the Communists
and I did not speak out because I was not a Communist.
Then they came for the trade unionists
and I did not speak out because I was not a trade unionist.
Then they came for me
and there was no one left to speak out for me.

- Pastor Martin Niemöller

The Grey In Between

This poem, written by a pastor stuck in a Nazi camp during World War II, is printed in bold, gold letters across a grey wall in Washington D.C.’s Holocaust Museum. It is alone, no pictures to accompany it, no stories to explain it. And yet, when I walked through the museum, when I saw the starving and broken people, when I watched death in all its horrific and terrible brilliance, I stopped and I stared and I was transfixed, gazing at this bare, plain wall.

It rings true. Perhaps we are all, in some form or another, alone. Perhaps in the end, when it matters the most, we too will have nobody to speak for us, nobody to hold our hands and tell us everything will be all right, to save us from our own foolishness. Maybe I’m scared, maybe we all are, but honestly? I couldn’t tell you what holds a person back from speaking up. I could sit here and write a thousand words and in the end it would be meaningless.

But right now? I’m going to speak up. I’m going to write. I’m going to preach. And I’m probably going to get angry. I warn you now because this is, above anything else…a rant.

I’ve gone to Blanchet High School for about three years now. I’m a senior. I’m a boy. I hate math. I love politics and language arts. And sometimes, sitting in my room, listening to a song blaring from the radio, I think America is filled with a giant mass of hypocrites. Harsh, I know, but I can’t really say this bitterly. After all, I happen to be an American. Our country loves to talk – we’re truly great with words – but it’s always been difficult to turn words into actions.

I bring you a statement. To some, it may sound familiar: all men are created equal.

It is clear and brilliant in its simplicity. One reads that and everything seems right in our world, in America, in our constitution, in our leaders. But our nation has had a very difficult time practicing this ideal. In the seventeen and eighteen hundreds we put African Americans in chains and called them property. We whipped them and we beat them and they were not equal. In the seventeenth, eighteenth, and early nineteenth centuries, women were forbidden to vote. It was frowned upon if they had jobs. It was frowned upon if they were not married. They were not equal. In the nineteen forties ships carrying hundreds of Jewish refugees poured into American ports. We turned them away. We turned our heads, closed our eyes, and pretended everything was alright. They were not equal. When 9/11 happened, Americans yelled and imprisoned Arabs. We cursed immigrants. We took away a constitutional right of a trial. They were not equal.

And today…today we struggle with something that is talked about in hushed whispers, behind closed doors. Speaking it aloud, you see, would force us to deal with the issue. Ignorance is bliss, they say. And it’s true. What you don’t know can’t hurt. What you don’t know can’t make you uncomfortable.

I bring to you, perhaps in a roundabout way, America’s current crisis – the taboo topic that many still frown upon, closing their eyes to the problem, closing their mouths to the solution. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I’m talking about homosexuality.

We all go to a Catholic school and as such, I think it’s important I clarify the church’s beliefs on this matter. Catholics believe that same sex relationships are perfectly fine. “What?” you exclaim. “Since when?” I know, a bit shocking, but maybe a little shock is necessary. The catch is this: sex is believed to occur for the sole purpose of child birth. That’s why the Catholic Church rejects birth control and abortions. Unfortunately, people of the same sex can’t have a child together, so basically, to put this in very blunt terms – a gay couple cannot have sex. That might be difficult for two people who love each other, but I’m going to bite my tongue on this issue.

So what is it that makes homosexuality so forbidden? Is it the bible? We all know that somewhere in there, I’m tempted to say Leviticus, it is proclaimed that a relationship with somebody of the same sex is not something one should partake in if they ever want to see the golden gates of heaven. But then, the bible also tells us we shouldn’t eat pork, which we do. It tells us that slavery is normal, which it’s not. It tells us that Wicca’s are evil, which they aren’t. So we can’t exactly take the entire bible literally.

Do we forbid homosexuality because our president condemns it? Is it because he tells us it’s a sin and that it will not be tolerated? Is it because our government has yet to accept it? Yes, perhaps. The government is one of the greatest authority figures in the United States, just like the church is. They are our beacon of right and wrong. And this is exactly America’s problem. If little Billy sits in front of the news everyday and goes to church every Sunday, perhaps he’s a southern Baptist, and listens to the same words…over and over again. If he hears it proclaimed that homosexuality is wrong, if his parents raise him with these very same words, grinding them into his head along with advice about looking both ways before he crosses the street, why would little Billy doubt this to be true? What reason does he have to turn his head every time he hears these words? After all, this is his government. This is his family. This is his church. These people only speak the truth.

When did we decide to teach our kids to hate?

I have gay friends. I have straight friends. I have friends who are just plain confused, but I’m still good friends with all of them because frankly, I don’t give a damn who they are attracted to. I would not give up my friends for the entire world because they make me happy. They make me laugh and they comfort me when I cry.

I am not often ashamed of our school, in fact, rarely ever. I’m quite content within these walls, but when I walk down the hall and see somebody getting picked on because they have been unfairly classified, right or wrong, as gay by their classmates, I am quite ashamed to go to this school. Are we all so immature that making fun of somebody, that calling them names and pushing them around, is still funny? Does it still make us feel superior? Is it still fun to see somebody cry?

I would think that after Matthew Shepherd people would know better, but when asked, a truly surprising number of students don’t even know who he is. So if you’re one of those that have no idea what I’m talking about, please read this, and take it to heart: Matthew was a college student in Laramie, Wyoming and on the night of October 6, 1998 he was at a bar that was known as a popular gay hang out. Two strangers, Aaron McKinney and Russell A. Henderson, convinced Matthew to go to an open, deserted field with them, where they proceeded to tie him to a fence and beat him within an inch of his life. They left him hanging there through the night, and in the morning a cyclist found him, at first mistaking his body for a scarecrow. He was taken to a hospital quickly and fell immediately into a coma, passing away with his family at his side.

His death stirred a wave of anger from not only the gay population, but many straight American citizens. Rallies and petitions sprung up everywhere for laws and legislations against hate-crimes, and against discrimination. Anti-gay groups responded in full force, saying that this would give gays special rights.

Funny, I was pretty sure it was stated in the American constitution that everybody had a right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. Since when did enforcing the right to live become a special circumstance? A hate crime is an interesting thing and by law, it’s not legal. Murder or harassment because of race, gender, or sexual orientation is not permitted, but this shouldn’t really come as a shock, or, for the sake of all who attend this school, I should hope not.

So why must this continue?

Why are we so afraid of what is different?

Oh, there are a million things I could discuss right now. I could talk about gay marriages. I could tell you about the constant struggle many gay teenagers face in high school. I could ramble about the stupidity of name calling. I could condemn the use of words like “gay” and “fag” and try to make you understand that they are just as hurtful as using the n-word. Yes, I could tell you about all those things. But I won’t, because if we can’t even understand why these issues are important, there’s really no point.

Recognizing the problem is the first step to fixing it.

Bishop Blanchet High School is attempting to start its first gay and lesbian support group. It’s been long in the making and we are still lagging behind schools like Lakeside that have been doing this for years, but it’s certainly a beginning.

I want to make clear to everybody that I am well aware that most Blanchet students don’t participate in any ridiculing or harassment whatsoever and are very accepting and supportive. This article was not meant to point fingers at anybody. I’m simply bringing up an issue that I feel has been ignored for far too long.

It is our generation that will be resolving this issue. It is our generation that will make the choices of the future. Sometimes we like to see the world in black and white. It’s easier to walk through life with blinders on, but nobody can ignore things forever.

So who will speak for the homosexuals? I gave it my all, but we still have miles to go before we sleep.

“It eluded us then. But no matter. Tomorrow we will run faster, stretch our arms farther, and one fine morning…”

-F. Scott Fitzgerald

Did you enjoy reading this article?  Then feel free to send a message to Steven at: sjc344@nyu.edu

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