KarMel Scholarship 2005

“An Act of Treason”

By Robi Simone

Desciption of Submission: “A short story about a wife who finds out her husband’s gay” - Robi

My jaw dropped, how could he do this? The man I loved. My surprise must have been audible because the shadowy figures froze. Silently, I moved along the wall toward my worst nightmare. I flashed back on the days that led up to this, the twenty years of supposed bliss of marriage, then the faint smell of someone else’s perfume on his jacket.

~~~

It seemed only minutes ago I had found the curvy-penned phone number in my husband’s business jacket. I immediately cast it aside; my loving husband would never cheat on me. I was still a pretty attractive woman, and always carried myself with grace and fluidity. It wasn’t till I found the empty box of condoms in the trash, buried beneath empty cans, and leftovers. Now, don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t rooting through the trash to find a clue of my husband’s infidelity. The dog tipped it over and I was merely cleaning up the mess I knew no one else would. Still, I brushed this and several others like it, off. It wasn’t till I mentioned it to a girlfriend at lunch that I realized I’ve been ignoring blatant signs. I tried desperately to rationalize the clues, attributing the condoms to my seventeen-year-old son and the strange perfume on my thirteen-year-old daughter. However, Maxine, my dear friend, convinced me to find out for sure. I began awkwardly, keeping an eye on the phone bill, monitoring my husband’s email account. At first, I was relieved to find nothing, but after a week or so, there seemed to be more smut in his email than I would have thought possible. Then came the prank calls. It first happened in May. The phone would ring; I’d pick up…nothing. After about 15 seconds of me screaming “hello” into the receiver -click- the line goes dead. One by one the clues started to fall together. However, now that I was certain of his lechery, I became obsessed. I had to know who had secretly replaced me.

~~~

I was so close; I guess that the actual image of my husband cheating overwhelmed me. Well, I didn’t actually see them. It was dark. I saw figures though, and since I’d followed him there, I knew it had to be him. I ran home, after I startled them, my heart beating and hyperventilating. As I lay in my bed I thought of how I could have missed these late disappearances and the ones after work that spurred me to follow him.

~~~

It was always his custom to go for a walk after work. He always said it cleared his head. He said it cleared his head. He said he went to the park and just walked until he felt ready to join the world again. He returned at varying time, he’d be gone anywhere from and hour to two. It wasn’t until Maxine insisted I find out what he was doing that I suspected these supposedly harmless walks. The things I hate most in this world are busybody friends, and peanut brittle. The first is much worse than the last because you can’t avoid it. What’s far worse than that is when they get an idea, they’re usually right. After I convinced myself that I had to know what was going on I set up a plan.

~~~

I would have my son, Kevin, watch his sister while I “went to the store”. I would leave just after my husband, Paul, left. There, with a plan, it was time to put it in action.

~~~

I had had a fairly easy time at work that day, so easy that, I was able to pick up that night’s “shopping” on my way home and stash it in the trunk. Paul came home at his normal time, kissed me his normal, empty, kiss. He changed and walked out of the door. It was the same thing he’d been doing for our entire marriage but tonight it seemed strangely sinister. I parked the car around the corner and got out in time to see my husband round the corner. We lived about six blocks from the park, so it was no trouble to walk there. I kept my distance but could see he was plainly headed for the south end of the park. This really fogged me up because there wasn’t anything back there except a wooded trail and an old restroom.

~~~

I stalked my loving husband for twenty minutes before we came to the rest area. At first, I couldn’t understand why we were here. Every one knew what went on here. Not even my scum of a husband would come here, or so I thought.

~~~

My jaw dropped, how could he do this? The man I loved. My surprise must have been audible because the shadowy figures froze. Silently, I moved along the wall toward my worst nightmare. I flashed back on the days that led up to this, the twenty years of supposed bliss of marriage, then the faint smell of someone else’s perfume on his jacket. At first, it didn’t add up. Now, that I was close enough and now that my eyes adjusted to the darkness, I could see them. Everything clicked into place. The tears streamed down my face. These twenty years of marriage had been a sham. As I ran back to the house, I couldn’t help but think about what Maxine or the neighbors would think. I composed myself by the time I got home. Kevin knew something was wrong, but I brushed him off and told him to take his sister to go get some ice cream.

~~~

Forty-five minutes later, the villain returned. I hope he knew I was pissed at him. He came home to find the house dark. He asked me nervously why I was sitting in the dark, and where the kids were I told him to fuck off and he had no business asking about the goings on in this family anymore. He tried to ask why but his eyes betrayed him. I flew into a rage, “How could he do this to me, to the kids?” He mumbled some defense but I was too busy throwing family photographs at him to hear a word. I told him to get out. I threw his clothes out the top floor window. I took his key and threw more photos and some small appliances at him. When he was finally gone I cried myself to sleep. The next day I told the kids. It took a while but we learned to function with out him.

~~~

It has been almost two years now, the divorce is final. The kids see him every Thursday. I’m glad it’s over.

~~~

When I first told Maxine she wasn’t shocked. She said that she had suspected him for years. I pleaded with her through out lunch. “Why didn’t you tell me?” “I could have been more prepared.” She simply took my hand and told me that she couldn’t ever find the right time or the right words to express her concern. I concluded lunch by asking her why it took me twenty years to realize it. She said that many guys go even longer with out even a hint to their loved ones.

~~~

I travel a lot now. Mostly around the city. I speak to groups of men who are in the same predicament that my ex was. I somehow was able to forgive him and since I have been reunited with the boy I fell in love with twenty years ago. Although the romance is dead, we are pretty good friends. Sometimes he’ll come with me to my meetings and help me tell our story. He’s out now. I simply adore his boyfriend, Sam. The kids seem to like him too. Kevin came out about a month ago; I promised him I wouldn’t throw his clothes out of the window. The healing has begun. I think we’ll make it after all.

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