KarMel Scholarship 2005

“3 Most Important Letters of my Life”

By Lanisha Taylor

Desciption of Submission: “A ltter to three people that influence my life either in a bad or good way and what I want to say to them in the most simplistic but most intimate form such as a personal letter directed specifically to them..” - Lanisha

Dear President Bush,

I’m going to start off by telling you that I have no problem with you on a personal level. I just had to get that out of the way before I started to tell you why I really dislike you on a political level. Many may disagree with me, but they do that everyday because I’m a lesbian living in America. Wait, I take that back, I am an African American lesbian living in America; either way in this system that you have I’m definitely screwed. When the elections rose to its all time high and people were debating as to rather you should become President of the United States a lot of my “friends” decided they were going to vote for you. Now, by this time I was already a proud member of the Kerry bandwagon, but I decided to ask them why because I believe in hearing both sides of an argument. Well, the things I heard blew my mind. No one had the facts, maybe because most of them jumped to the issue of gay marriage which you very strategically worked out to be an issue right before your election. Good move I if I do say so myself. But if you don’t mind me saying this you my friend are very IGNORANT. Before I get investigated, hear me out, your ignorance derives from the unknowing as do many of the other people I talked to who voted for you solely because you may it clear you were against it. If I was to ask you were you ever gay in your life, I’m pretty sure you would say no. So you my friend are IGNORANT in that sense. If the world were different and being homosexual was the majority, knowing the love you cherish for your loving wife, would you like me if I told you two that you could not get married, and tried to pass legislation against you because I was lesbian. Think about that for a minute before another word flows from your mouth. Think about “the land of the free” and tell me you are not my oppressor. Think about fighting for freedom in Iraq before you so easily take my rights away, and consider the thousand pages of scriptural text before you decided to regulate ones life on a couple. People fight for the chance to come to America, but why, are there liberties soon in jeopardy, the fate rest in your hands President Bush you decide.

Footnote: IGNORANT: lacking knowledge or comprehension of the thing specified

To the Love of My Life,

I often wonder what will become of us in the future. Am I just going through a phase, is a question I trend to ask myself time and time again. I don’t know if I want to continue to date for years to come and be married to you knowing that we are living in sin. But, will God really punish us because we love each other? Will he not let me into the kingdom of Heaven because I am faithful, because I love and cherish you, and because I want to grow old with you and no one else? I feel things for you that any straight heterosexual person would feel for their love one and yet I’m so wrong. How am I to tell you this without you having doubts? I want to be the ultimate Christian, but I haven’t figured out what church we will go to, or how we will be able to get an apartment, or even adopt a child. I don’t understand. I’m a woman and you are too but I love you more than I will ever love him. I don’t know if I’m not trying to like him or if my love for you is just that strong that it won’t let me veer away from this lifestyle so opposed by many. I don’t know where this will lead but I have faith, hope, and trust that if we take this one day at a time God will show us the way. Take that journey with me.

Dear Mother,

I hid this letter from you because I knew it would upset you. So much has made you upset these past years and I don’t want to be this to be the thing that pushes you over the edge. All I want to do is be a loving daughter. I have been trying to send you the signals of this since I got in middle school. Every time you pushed me to wear a dress I got mad and said that wasn’t my style. Every time you looked a girl on television and told me that you wish I would be like that I would cry inside and just leave the room. Every time I got a chance to get my hair done I would push for you to get me braids. When I got my first job and I had control of my wardrobe suddenly as the bell bottoms and shorts went to the garage sell and jerseys took their places. I can’t help it. Maybe I was born that way. I have this feeling you know I’m like that but I am just afraid to say anything because once it comes from my mouth it automatically makes the distant idea into a fatal reality. But in me writing you this letter I hope you can understand that I want you to look at me the same. When you call me your baby girl I want it to be sincere. When you look at me and say I am beautiful, I don’t want it to be out of pity but out of a sincere regard to the way I am. You always told me to stand out and be original, will you be mad because I have taken to use your advice. Will you be apart of my life and talk about me and my girlfriend as if you would my brother and his. I don’t expect you to totally agree because I know in life that there are going to be things that we don’t share opinions on. I just want you to know I am your daughter. Underneath the hat and the bandana, the Nikes and the baggy jeans, and the button down jerseys I am still that girl you washed up before dinner and sang to at night. You are my mother, the only one I turn to and if you can accept me who cares about anyone else. If I look at you that way can you look at me the same?

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