KarMel Scholarship 2005

 

Best Love

“My Heart Remembers”

By Perry Conley - FL

 

 

Desciption of Submission: “This is a narrative poem I’ve written about my life with my first partner before he died due to pneumonia and complications due “My Heart Remembers” to AIDS.  It further illustrates the pain that both he and I went through as he died still, to this day, I miss him and remember him.” - Perry

 

Why Karen and Melody Liked It: We felt this was a very touching love poem.

 

 

A long time ago, I was a young man, just out of college

and you were such a handsome man in his early thirties.

We exchanged a glance and at that moment,

saw deep into each other's souls.

My heart remembers.

 

 

You told me you had the AIDS virus, but I didn't care;

I really liked the total man I saw: his charm, his personality, his wit, his love;

My heart remembers.

 

 

We saw each other almost every day for the next few months.

You asked me to live with you; and for the next two years,

We made that apartment our home.

My heart remembers.

 

 

We shared each other's accomplishments and failures, joys and sorrows.

We went to each other's parents' home for holiday celebrations.

My heart remembers.

 

 

Then one day, you started feeling sick, like you had the flu.

Only a few days later, it had turned into pneumonia.

They put you in the hospital, in an isolation room.

Everyone was afraid of you. They wore all sorts of masks and gowns.

Everyone but me.

My heart remembers.

 

 

They put you in an oxygen tent....no visitors were allowed beyond the first door of your room.

I could only see you through a small window. And you tried to wave at me once,

But, you were too weak.

My heart remembers.

 

 

The minutes passed by; minutes became hours,and hours became days --

Watching you, loving you, praying for you.

My heart remembers.

 

 

Then, somewhere in the early morning,

The nurses and doctors rushed by me into your room.

They gave you injections, did CPR, even used a defibrilator.

But you were already gone.

My heart remembers.

 

 

The next few days were all so strange, almost like being in some slow motion movie.

The arrangements, the visitors, all was so bizarre.

At the funeral, at our church, and among all our friends,

People sang and they told stories about you.

When they started to take you away from the church, and away from me,

I cried out your name, over, and over, and over.

My mother held me up.

My heart remembers.

 

 

My mind was left clouded and confused. My spirit was broken.

My world was turned upside down,

And My heart was left with an enormous hole in it on one side,

And the other side was filled with your memory.

Time has now passed, but

My heart remembers.

 

 

Eventhough now that Wisdom and Grace have replaced the youthful playfullness I once had,

And there is some grey in my mustache,

I can sometimes feel you near.

Whenever I look at your picture on the wall,

I look in your eyes...and I still feel you deep inside.

And when I feel a gentle breeze blow by,

I can feel your spirit in the wind,

And it passes directly through me and through my soul.

 

My heart remembers you, and still misses you.

 

 

 

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