FADE IN:
eXT. - A house - aFTERNOON
A cookie cutter home in a typical suburban neighborhood.
A green lawn.
A white picket fence.
iNT. - living room - AFTERNOON
A MOM is sitting in front of a television set on the couch with the family dog. She appears to be in her late forties.
The lights from the TV screen flicker rapidly as she flips from channel to channel. She finally stays on one station but only because the remote seems to not work. The TV is on PBS and Teletubbies is on.
Banging on it, she accidentally presses on the PLAY button for the VCR. She gasps at what she sees on the TV screen. The dog also sits up in shock.
On the TV, two men are heard moaning with excitement with sleazy music playing in the background.
man 1 (O.S.)
Hey boy, keep going don’t stop! That’s it!
maN 2 (O.S.)
You like that, don’tcha?
mAN 1 (O.S.)
Yes! Yes! Yes! Don’t stop!
From the way the two men sound, they are clearly not good actors and this is also clearly not the Teletubbies. It’s a dirty movie. A dirty gay movie.
Covering her eyes, she peers through the cracks between her fingers and gasps amongst the moans and groans coming from the screen. The dog is also hunched over with its paws covering its eyes.
mAN 1 (CONT’D)
Man, I love your big...
RING! RING! It’s the phone.
The Mom jumps up in shock and quickly answers the phone. The video is still playing in the background.
MOM
Hello?
While on the phone, she frantically tries to turn off the TV with the remote but it still doesn’t work.
Banging on it she accidentally hits the power button for the stereo.
The stereo turns on and the TV’s volume becomes magnified with surround sound.
mAN 2 (O.S.)
Ughhhhhh!!! Yeah!!! Oh yeah!!!!
The increasingly louder moans make her jump in shock.
MOM (CONT’D)
I’m sorry I’m not interested!
She hangs up and quickly turns off the VCR and stereo manually. Frustrated with the remote, she throws it to the ground. She looks around to make sure no one else heard what happened.
She ejects the video and looks at it. The video is labeled, “Great Balls of Fire.”
Someone is coming down the stairs of the house.
The Mom quickly hides the video behind her. JIMMY, her teenage son, enters the living room.
mom
Oh hi Jimmy.
jimmy
Hey Mom, what was that loud noise?
mom
Oh, I’m not sure. I was on the phone.
jIMMY
OK. Well I’m going out. I’ll be back in a little bit.
Her son walks out the front door.
While holding the tape in hand, she pauses for a second.
mOm
(Quietly to herself)
Jimmy?
The Mom looks extremely disturbed.
She hesitantly approaches the TV and puts the video back in the VCR where she found it and walks away. However, as certain videos usually do, they play upon insertion.
The video plays.
The two men in the video continue from where they last left off. They’re still moaning.
mAN 2 (O.S.)
Oh, I love yours too. Your big, fat...
RING! RING! It’s the doorbell.
The Mom quickly presses the STOP button on the VCR and answers the door.
iNT. - entry - aFTERNOON
Two cute, young girl scouts are at the door.
GIRl scout 1
Hello ma’am, would you be interested in buying some cookies?
mOM
Oh, I don’t know...
gIRL SCOUT 2
We would really appreciate your support.
iNT. - living room - afTERNOON
The dog jumps off the couch and lands on the remote which is still on the floor. The PLAY button is pressed and the video comes back on.
From the door, the TV can be seen. The girl scouts see the video and are in shock. One of them is about to cry.
Suddenly, a man who appears to be their father approaches the door.
the GiRL SCOUTs’ father
Hey girls, is everything OK here...
He sees the video.
the gIRL SCOUTS’ FATHER (CONT’D)
What the hell!? Girls let’s go! You should be ashamed of yourself!
As they storm off, the Mom frantically closes the door and looks extremely embarrassed.
The dog once again has it’s paws covering it’s eyes while the two men in the video are heard still going at it.
She sends the dog away.
In disgust, she quickly turns off the video. She pauses for a moment to think.
She looks up at pictures of her family on a wall. She sees various pictures of them: her husband, sisters, grandfather, and son. She focuses on her son.
dISSOLVE TO:
iNT. - living room - later that afternoon.
The Mom is sitting on the couch looking very distressed. She pauses and stares at the remote. A look of curiosity is on her face. She picks up the remote and turns the video back on.
The two men in the video repeat the same lines as before over and over.
The Mom has a slight uncomfortable look on her face. She then begins to be slightly amused by this.
The front door opens. It’s her son.
jiMMY
Mom! What the hell...
Mom jumps up in surprise and stumbles for the remote. She picks it up and once again it doesn’t work. In frustration, she finally ejects the video and takes it out.
MOM
Jimmy, it’s OK. I know. And I still love you no matter what.
jIMMY
What? What are you talking about? And what were you watching? It looked like two dudes were...
MOM
I found your dirty movie!
jIMMY
Mom, I can explain.
MOM
There’s nothing to explain. I know you’re gay.
jIMMY
Gay?
MOM
Isn’t this your video?
Jimmy sees the video and the title.
jIMMY
Great Balls of Fire? That’s not one of mine.
The front door opens. The DAD arrives.
DAD
Hi honey I’m home...
He sees a look of anger on his wife’s face and it’s directed at him.
DAD (CONT’D)
What’s wrong?
jIMMY
Hey, Dad.
MOM
Jimmy, go to your room.
Jimmy seems confused but runs upstairs anyways.
jIMMY
Bye dad.
The Mom takes her husband outside.
eXT. - front porch - AFTERNOON
MOM
I found a dirty movie.
The Dad looks caught and very embarrassed.
DAD
Honey, I can explain.
He sees the video in her hand.
DAD (CONT’D)
Wait, that’s not one of mine.
MOM
What? Then who’s is this?
She looks extremely confused.
They walk back into the house.
iNT. - living room - aFTERNOON
An old man is in front of the TV looking around for something.
DAD
Hey, Grandpa.
GRANDPA sees the video in her hand.
Grandpa
Oh there it is.
fADE OUT.