KarMel Scholarship 2004

 

Most Unique Idea

“The Gay Gene”

By Catherine Marble, AZ

 

 

Desciption of Submission: “Satire: News story about discovery of a gay gene and possible implicationse.” – Catherine

Why Karen and Melody Liked It:  It was interesting idea that there would be a gene that would distinguish whether a person was gay, and what the effects would be.

 

 

Scientists have developed a test to find the “J” gene in humans. The “J” gene was discovered two years ago by researchers at Arizona State University and has been proven to be the determining factor of homosexual orientation in both men and women.

 

            Because of the controversies surrounding homosexuality in our society, complicated by the high incidence of homosexual pedophilia in the Catholic Church, a law is being enacted by President Tush stating that any individual who works with children must be tested for this gene. If it is found to be present, they will no longer be able to work with children and will be branded as such with a visible mark. President Tush said in a speech yesterday to our nation, “These people will be visiblized to all of us who are upstanding American citizens so that we can ensure that, that these people who are not will not hold positions of power over our children upon whom they can perpetuate their perversion.”

 

            This testing is also set to be offered to parents as a pre-screening tool to determine the sexual orientation of a fetus before birth. This will give parents ample time to abort the fetus if needed so as not to bring a homosexual into the world.

 

            Members of the 700 Club have commented that their prior pro-life stance may have been misguided given that this gene exists. Patt Robers is quoted as saying, “If God wanted us to bring homosexuals into the world then he wouldn’t have helped us to find the gay gene. This is God’s way of telling us that our stance on homosexuality has been right all along and how he is going to help us eradicate it. First he gave us the AIDS epidemic to rid our society of homosexuals and now with the “J” gene we can be free of this evil forever.”

 

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