KarMel Scholarship 2004
|
“Another Voice” By
Adrianne Klein Desciption of
Submission: “I trace my personal journey to
accepting my mom's homosexuality and confronting my internalized
homophobia. .” – Adrianne |
I
stand before a group of adults, goading them to share all the pejorative terms
they know for gays and lesbians. Polite silence greets my request.
Finally, a woman reticently volunteers the word "queer."
Another barely whispers "homo." More silence. Frustrated,
I chastise my audience for their inability to get beyond their
embarrassment. The group, at last, loosens up and barrages me with enough
slurs to make a network television censor blush. Perversely, this makes
me happy.
I facilitate diversity training through the
speaker's bureau Gays and Lesbians Initiating Dialogue for Equality
(GLIDE). To illustrate the pervasiveness of homophobia in our society, I
prompt participants to offer stereotypes and epithets commonly associated with
gays and lesbians. It is a powerful visual demonstration of homophobia to
see a chalkboard filled with overwhelmingly negative associations. After
citing professional research that serves to debunk the common misconceptions
regarding their responses, speakers then share their own coming-out stories to
illustrate how homophobia has impacted their lives. However, mine
involves the process of confronting my internalized homophobia and
accepting my mother's homosexuality.
In my desire to be accepted, I concealed my
mom's lesbianism from my homophobic peers in middle school. Through
silence, I endorsed their frequent anti-gay epithets and jokes. When I
entered high school, my mom’s presence on campus as teacher and advocate for
gay and lesbian youth forced me to face the issue that had bothered me for
years. Gradually I became aware that the secret I had been hiding was my
own fear and prejudice. I grew to love and accept my mother
unconditionally and gained the courage to be honest.
This realization led to my involvement with
GLIDE. At age 14, I became its youngest speaker, and I share my
experiences growing up to underscore the speciousness of homophobia. I
witness the change GLIDE can effect when I speak with gay and lesbian parents
who appreciate hearing my perspective as it relates to their own children.
While this topic may challenge others in the audience, my participation in this
discussion opens channels for them to see this issue beyond the contentious
rhetoric of media sound bytes. Conversing with distraught teens as they
confront their own sexuality, I feel privileged to participate in a forum where
they can safely voice their concerns and feel validated for just being
themselves. My experiences with homophobia have taught me that shame is
an acquired emotion. Organizations like GLIDE provide an alternative
viewpoint by combating prejudice through facilitators whose personal stories
defy the easy, negative stereotypes.
Having spoken with devastated parents
who have lost custody of their children and teens who have been physically and
emotionally abused by their families, I am aware that homophobia can divide
families. My older sister's intense homophobia divides my own
family. As much as she loves our mother, she can't overcome the shame and
embarrassment she feels for having a lesbian mother. My sister's
homophobia serves to remind me of the immediacy of this problem. I
continue speaking with GLIDE because it affords me the opportunity to use
communication and discussion to foster understanding about an important social
issue that promotes positive social change.