Coming Out to My Parents
If anyone would like to talk about anything or ask me any questions regarding anything, feel free to email me at: melody@karenandmelody.com
Background: I posted this message on the AMC (All My Children - soap opera) Board after coming out to my parents.  I came out to my parents on March 27, 2001 , about two months after coming out to my boyfriend, sister and friends.
Hi Everyone,
As everyone knows, in February I came out to my boyfriend, 3 close friends and my sister.  During the weeks, I have told more friends about it as well.  Everyone has been so supportive.  Not one person has changed their attitude negatively towards me.  I'm very blessed to have all of you as such good friends.
Last night, I came out to my parents.
It wasn't really planned.  My sister had come back from Spring Break.  We decided to have a family dinner at home.  I felt if the conversation led to it, I would just say it.  My dad knew about the break up, but not the reason.  My mom had no idea about the breakup yet. 
My mom started asking about my boyfriend and my sister and dad both kind of snickered, and my mom knew that something was wrong.  So I told them I had broke up.  My mom and dad both kept asking why.  I told them that Michael had done nothing wrong.  He was a perfect guy.  But I just wasn't happy with him.  They kept prying and asking, why if he was perfect, why would I break up?
Finally I started saying I don't want to get married.  My dad said "Never?  You just mean right now, right";  I said "No".  And for awhile I kept repeating I just don't want to get married.  And then I started talking about how I just don't have feelings for guys, but when I'm around girls it is just so different.  Then my dad said,"This sounds like homosexual."  And I go I am. 
At first they went through their emotions of being homosexual is wrong.  It is not normal.  Something is wrong with you.  But then they moved on to listen to what I had to say.  The listened patiently as I tried to tell them my feelings and emotions.  My mom even asked, "I want to hear the story you told Michael so we could understand too. "  As we talked, I cried a little and at times, I was emotional.  My mom at one point broke down and cried and started blaming my dad and then herself.  I told them it has nothing to do with how they brought me up.  I had always had these feelings about girls.  I collected articles about actresses and took pictures of tons of girls.  They started realizing and saying that is right.  I told them how I was happier now, but to them, they felt that their life is never happy so why was I striving to be happy?  We talked about issues from going to a psychologist, AIDS, gay bosses my dad knew to whether I was seeing anyone.
But at the end, my dad said, "I will always accept you.  You will always be my daughter.  I just hold on to that little hope that maybe you will go back to a guy."  He was cute.  He was totally cool with it at the end.  He even liked the idea that if I had a son, it would have his last name so it could carry down the family name.  He also looked at my palm in which my marriage line has always been split so he believes in this stuff and was just cool about it.
My mom was ok.  She never yelled at me.  She didn't get scared because of her mental problem.   I thought she would fear that I would get AIDS and she wouldn't want to be close to me. But she didn't seem scared at all when we mentioned AIDS.  She just wanted to tell me to make sure to think about it carefully.  I think it will take her a little time to accept, but overall she was not mad or disowning me or anything.
Overall, it went better than I expected.  So I am still very fortunate to have the support of my family and friends.  I am truly blessed.
So if anyone is considering coming out, don't be afraid. It really is not as bad as you may think. People around can be more accepting than you realize.

Melody
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